Two Houses, Season 2: Veteran Edition (Week 2)

Two Houses: Week 2

~ First House ~

Previously, on Two Houses: the first week saw KT! in power in the first house, nominating Beau and Ted. In the end, flowchart-loving Beau Smart was evicted. In the second house, Head of Household Cassandra Classical sought after nominating the weaker links from the competition, Marsha and Devra. On eviction night, it was viral sensation Marsha Marshall who was sent to the Halfway House, but the game for her did not end there. She returns this week to the game, but in the First House. We shall soon see what happens.

Rebecca: Well...okay! He's out of here. 

Diane: I do admit I will miss the boy...oh, perhaps not. 

Ted: It is rather unfortunate when someone is sent home. I do wish we could all simply stay here and enjoy each other's company, but - 

Diane: That is not to happen, Ted.

Adrian, Skye and Rebecca voted for Ted Pleasanton to stay. Was this the right decision? Only time will tell. 

Skye: Soooo....when does the HOH competition start? 

Adrian: Girl, don't you wanna relax a little? 

Skye: Not with you, honey, for sure.  

And here comes our surprise intruder. Outlasting Beau in the second-chance endurance competition, her second chance in the game of Two Houses begins tonight. This is her final chance - if evicted again, her game ends for good.

Marsha: Mwhahahahah, peepshh! Moi ees 'ere tah screee ya gahmeh aahp! Dahn't beh fahled bah moi 'peerince, moi ees cahmpeetahnt and fahhhbloosh! Yaasss weeens!

 Ted: Oh boy, I recognise that voice - but no, it couldn't be...

Marsha: Taddeeh! 
When Hunt or Be Hunted, the second season of High Hopes aired, Marsha and Ted became fast friends, and came to live together once the season concluded and they began filming for the sitcom, Outside the Target. Will this alliance once-formed begin to help them in this house? 

Ted: Why, Marsha, how can it be? I am frankly elated to see you! 

Marsha: Ahnd moi tooot! 

Ted: What have you been up to this past while, Marsha? 

Marsha: Moi - moi hash...hash brown...sweemeeng! 

Ted: Oh? Oh yes... 

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Outgoing Head of Household, KT!, will not be competing in the competition this week - she is not eligible to reign two weeks in a row. 

Who is she staring at, I wonder? 

Diane: Skye, dear, tell me what you think of the meal? 

Skye: Did...did you cook this one? 

Diane: I did not. 

Skye: Oh...well, I'll eat first. 

Adrian settles in for a good night's sleep. First in bed, he knows what tomorrow is - the second HOH competition of the season.

Diane exits into the garden. The wind howls. An eerie sense of deja vu erupts from within, but what is this feeling, so sudden and new? 

The door slams behind her. The wind beckons. Her boots squash the perfect, emerald green grass. Plumbob green. 

Diane: She told me of the power lurking out here, in the garden. That was why she came. To explore, at first, and then...then she knew something strange was happening. 

Diane: No sir, I'm just messing with you, cameraboys! There is no hidden, mystical power out here! You must be foolish to think such a thing! Of course, they say, KT! would know of all mystical powers, and tell her fellow contestant, Diane White! Ha! You crack me up.

Diane saunters inside. 

It must not be a coincidence numerous contestants have been lured outside, only to reveal nothing at all. There is something mysterious lurking...

[No. The sims are glitching.] 

The contestants continue to settle in for the night, preparing themselves for bed and the like. Ted enjoys a meal, as KT! finishes her own and washes the plate. Diane heads upstairs to bed.

Marsha: Mooshay pees! Mooshee pehs!

____________

Day - First House

Diane: Dear, I would ask you kindly to step out of the way, I would not like to whack you with this wooden spoon -
Adrian: I'm right here, Diane. You keep going. 
Diane: How about you simply scoot over, or wash your dish in the sink? 
Adrian: I'm not sentient enough for that. 

Diane: Well...I hope you like wooden spoons to the face, darling, because I am preparing breakfast for those of us patient enough to wait, so I will not be moving either. 
Adrian: That seems reasonable. 
Diane: Well, oops, I just bumped right into your chest! 
Adrian: I noticed. 

Today is the day of the second HOH competition. Who will be crowned Head of Household, and who will they then nominate? Tybalt no doubt wonders such as he carries the garbage to the outdoor trash can. 

Who will it be? 

Ted: Oh, how it would be to be young and comfortable to show off one's body. You must impress the ladies, sir. 
Adrian: Oh, you bet I do. 

Rebecca: You think you might win today, Diane? 
Diane: Oh, dear, who is to say? It is anyone's game. 

Rebecca: God, this smells so good!
Diane: Oh, thank you very much, Rebecca. 
We know you flipped in the vote. I do hope you enjoy it. 
Rebecca: I will, for sure. 

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Adrian: You are so, so, so sexy, Adrian...ooh, how could someone resist such a man, am I right? Hot damn.

In the downstairs bathroom, Rebecca hypes herself up for the upcoming HOH competition. 
Rebecca: You've got this, dude. Last week was the warm-up, but this time around you will be the very best, naturally. Win this. 

Rebecca: Oh boy, I am ready for this competition! 
Let's do this thing, Rebecca!

CONTESTANTS: IT'S TIME FOR THE SECOND HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD - REPORT TO THE BACKYARD FOR THE COMPETITION
Ted: Ooh, exciting stuff, here we go. 

Today's competition is Artist's Leisure - the contestants will each paint their own masterpiece, but will their masterpiece be the masterpiece to masterfully piece them in the ultimate puzzle - the game itself. Who will be crowned Head of Household?

KT! and Marsha will not be competing in the competition - due to her previous Head of Household title, KT! is ineligible, whereas Marsha is immune this week, due to her previous eviction from the second house.

The contestants begin their art - who will paint success, and who will fail miserably? The winner is the contestant who paints both a unique and more expensive painting than the others. Higher price - higher chance to victory.

The contestants' masterpieces have been painted. It is time to find out who has painted the more expensive, most unique of the six - who will it be? 

Diane, Adrian, Ted, Rebecca, Tybalt or Skye? 

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Skye: Oh wow, me, I feel so special. Cute little bunny-wunny picture! 
Skye Chamberlain is the second Head of Household for the first house. Who will she nominate, and who will be evicted at the end of the week? 

KT!: Oh no, is she gonna nominate me? I hope not. 
Marsha: Ewe ees prahhbleh seive, moi theenks. Moi ees dafs serf, beecahs ahve eevacteen...moi meens non, intradeer. 
KT!: You're an intruder, yeah. That's why you're immune this week. 
Marsha: Yeeesss. 

_____________

Second House

The Head of Household competition is approaching swiftly for the contestants in house number two. Six will be competing, so the question remains: who will be the second head of household? Who will they nominate? 

It's time for Artist's Leisure...

Of course, as reigning Head of Household, Cassandra cannot compete in today's challenge. She will sit on the sidelines today, and pray that the next HOH will not nominate her. 
Cassandra: This shall be an interesting competition indeed. 

 The contestants begin their art - who will paint success, and who will fail miserably? As a reminder, the winner is the contestant who paints both a unique and more expensive painting than the others. Higher price - higher chance to victory. 

Look here - Ben begins painting something with a striking resemblance to what Skye had painted. Will it mean he is the next Head of Household, or not so? 

 Grape: You've got this, Grape. You are an artist, of course. 
Grape psyches himself up, whilst another of the contestants finishes their masterpiece. One by one, they near the end of the challenge. 
Mysti: I did it, you guys! 

All are finished. Who is the next Head of Household? 

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 Devra: Ahaha! I did it, I beat you all, and look at how fabulous this masterpiece is! 
Leroy: Hey, I was so close! Carlito painted the same picture as me too. 
Carlito: Not my fault, buddy. Good minds think alike. 
Devra: You're all just jealous.  

 And with that, Devra is the second Head of Household for the second house. Who will she nominate, and how will this affect the game? Coming off the block from last week, will Devra get her revenge? Or will she have other targets in mind? Who will she hunt?

 Devra: Hunt the freaking bathroom at the moment, I need to pee real bad! 
Leroy: Oh same, yep, need to walk faster. 
Devra: I'm using the toilet first! 
Leroy: Think you'll beat me anyway.

 Cassandra has been watching from afar, and now the newest HOH has been crowned - how will she react? 
Cassandra: Oh, this is not the best, of course. 
Mysti! Hello, darling, mind if we chat? 
Mysti: Of course we can! I'll be right over.

 Ben: Mysti - 
Mysti: What is it? 
Ben: I, uh...I thought for a moment, that...oh, don't worry. 
Mysti: No, no, what is it? Do I look ghostly again? Ugh.

Grape: You look perfectly normal. I don't know why people kept stopping the challenge to stare at you. I'm so confused. 
Mysti: Maybe I just look so beautiful today! 
Grape: Why, you definitely do. 
Mysti: Thank ya, Grapey! *she pauses, staring* Uh...Carlito won't stop looking at me now? 
 

Carlito: What, no, I'm painting! 
Mysti: Uh...you weren't painting a minute ago, bud. 
Carlito: Was so, bud! 
Mysti: You're not supposed to be painting anyway, competition's over. You lost. Game over. See ya at eviction night. I need to calm down. 

Cassandra: Refrigerator is broken, indeed. I am forced to eat...forced to eat potato chips, and it is...unpleasant.
Diary room entry? Cassandra confesses that the food in the house is no more up to her standards, now that she is no more the Head of House. 

Mysti: I think...I think whatever y'all were staring at is gone...I hope.
 Ben: What are you talking about again? 
Mysti: Remember...in the backyard, everyone kept...they kept looking at me, as if I was glowing green, or something...
Ben: You...you like fine now. 

Mysti: Oh, well that's...that's fantastic then! 
Ben: Yeah...okay. 
Mysti: I'm gonna head downstairs and look for Grape. You wanna come - 
Ben: I don't need to be around him all the time, you know - 

Mysti: I...I wasn't saying you do!
Ben: Ahh...my head hurts. 
Mysti: You want me to take a look, or help you find some medicine downstairs? 
Ben: I...I think I'll be okay by myself, but...thanks, Mysti. 

Mysti: No problem, Ben. 
Mysti exits the bathroom, heading downstairs. 

*corny advertisement voice* 
GUESS WHAT, CONTESTANTS? GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS? IT'S REBATE DAY, CONTESTANTS, AND DO I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU! HEAD DOWN TO THE BACKYARD FOR THE BEST REBATE DEALS, AND DON'T FORGET TO RATE, RATE, RATE, FOR THIS DEAL WILL NOT LAST FOREVER, AND NOR WILL YOU! 

 Carlito: Wow, they really picked the best time for this rebate day shit. It's goddamn night, people. Are you stupid? 
Cassandra: Oh Carlito, calm down. Night pleasures are a wonder! 
Carlito: Yeah, I bet. Just...not how you imagine it.

Cassandra: And so...so you must imagine it with your head in the gutter, mister contemporary man? 
Carlito: The word 'pleasure' has lost its classic meaning, I'm afraid. 
Cassandra: Oh...it seems it has.  

 Grape fills the water balloon bucket with ease, because the sims have it easy with pretty much everything. Click of button, my friends. 
Grape: Mysti! Ben! Come on, you guys!

 Grape stares in horror at Mysti. 
Mysti: Hey, dude, I fixed myself up upstairs! What's wrong now? 
Grape: I...I...I don't even know! 
Mysti: Then stop staring and throw a water balloon at me!

 Mysti: Like this, see? 
*she pelts a balloon towards Grape, but it collides with the antique armchair* 
Mysti: Oh heck, that was a mistake, promise. 

 Ben: Did you see that? She probably ruined the chair...I don't want to go ruining anything out here, you know.
Grape: Yeah, of course...hey, how are you feeling? 
Ben: Head's still hurting, but fading. 
Grape: That's good.

 And with that, Grape is dead. The murderer has struck...oh, oops, wrong show. This is no Locomotive. No Murder in the Manor. No circus abandoned. None of those shows. This is Two Houses. Keep watching, please. 

[Feel free to leave if you're bored]

 Mysti: Yeehaw, I've killed 'em! Gotta hide now and see if anyone suspects me...they wouldn't, for sure. 
Cassandra: Oh dear - 
Mysti: You ever signed up for a murder mystery show, Cassandra? Real treat. 
Cassandra: I would imagine.

Devra: Heyyy...I'm waiting for my massage, please. You don't understand how long it took you to get down here, okay? It's almost midnight, I think. 
Carlito: Devra...
Devra: It's so relaxing right here, but I want my massage, boy.  

Carlito: Oh yeah, okay. 

Devra: Oh yes! That feels so good! 
Carlito: I...I'm super glad, then, Devra. 
Mysti: Get it, Carlito!
Ben: Wait, what's happening...ohhhh! 

Grape: Hey, Leroy...what's up? 
Leroy: I think I left my, uh, pocketbook somewhere around here. 
Grape: Pocketbook? Uh...I haven't seen it. 
Leroy: Oh well, I'll go to bed then. 

In the kitchen, Devra prepares herself something for dinner...or breakfast. It's late, and also early, all at once. 

 Devra: *singing* It's the sexy heating food up song, it's the sexy heating food up song, Devra's heating food, Devra's heating food, the sexy heating food up song....

Ben: Ahh, Devra! 
Devra: What, Benny - 
Ben: Well, uh...wardrobe malfunction...Devra...
Devra: Oh, oops, haha, not the overalls. 

Devra: Sorry...sorry you had to see that, Benny. 
Ben: It's really fine, really - 
Devra: Oh, did you like what you saw, honey? 
Ben: ...

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Day Something: Day of Nominations

Good morning everyone! Cassandra wakes early to begin preparing breakfast for her fellow contestants. Eggs and bacon, it seems. The other contestants will be waking one by one, ready for the day - and for nominations to occur.

As the HOH, luxury comes with responsibility, and definite power that will shape the game. Not only will Devra enjoy the decadence of the suite, but she will have one major decision that will impact all. 

In a moment, she will nominate two of her fellow housemates. Who will she see as a threat, or who will she use as a pawn? Who will be her intended target, or is she searching for the easiest way to get the least blood on her hands?

Devra: I now call this Nomination Ceremony to order. I, as the Head of Household, have the power to nominate two contestants for eviction at the closing of this week. 

Devra: I have first nominated you, Cassandra, because...well, bitch, you nominated me last week! Nah, I'm not at all salty...the true reason is that you have not connected with me as much as the other contestants. 
Cassandra: Oh...language, my dear. 

Devra: And I have nominated you, Leroy, for a similar reason. We have not formed much of a friendship in the house, and while you seem nice and cheerful...I'm sorry, how long does my reasoning have to be? Cameraman? 
Cameraman Keenan: Uh...that's all good now. 
Devra: Yay! 
Leroy: Uh...I guess I understand.   

 Devra: This Nomination Ceremony is now adjourned. 
Thank you all for coming...I'm gonna be outside, maybe, if you wanna chat or anything.

Cassandra: I...I can hope to be saved at the end of the week...thankfully no one else in this house was nominated by me. 
Leroy: Oh, yep, good for you, Cassandra. 
Cassandra: I wish I could go lie down in the HOH bedroom...

_____________

First House

Skye: Heya! This is the Nomination Ceremony for Week 2! Ain't that exciting? 
Rebecca: Yeah, not really, hon. 
Tybalt: Certainly not for any of us who think they could be nominated. 
Skye: Honestly, you're all safe! 

Skye: I'm just kidding! I can't do that, I have to nominate two of you! 
So...who's it gonna be, huh? 

Skye: Marsha is obviously safe this week because she came into the house as an intruder and I guess that means she's super duper important, but the rest of you are...well, not safe! 
Marsha: Yessh, theenks. 
Skye: So...I've chosen to nominate today: 

Skye: Adrian and Diane, because I feel you are both not only strong contenders in this game, but I also feel the least closest to you in the house. Sorry guys! 
Diane: Oh, that is fine...
Adrian: I get it, I get it. 

 Skye: I call this Nomination Ceremony....adjourned! 
Thanks for coming, everyone. Remember: eviction at the end of the week, Adrian or Diane will go home! 
KT!: Well doesn't that sound cheerful. 
Tybalt: Rest in peace. 

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 Diane: I am not entirely shocked that Skye nominated me for eviction...I was, of course, a major threat in the challenge for her, I almost beat her, and I suppose she believes that if I had, I would have nominated her and sent her packing...which, of course, I likely would have. She has barely said a word to me, if I am honest. But...she is a strange one.

Adrian: Gotta love being on the block, you know. But I trust Skye, I think, so I shouldn't be the one leaving this week. Sorry there, Diane. Nothing against you. One of us has to leave, and let's be real: it's not gonna be Adrian.

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The contestants settle into the day - nominations have, of course, shook the game once more. 
Ted: Rebecca...make sure you are not splashing the water everywhere, dear. 
Rebecca: Oh...nah, I'm fine here. 
Ted: That's good then...
Rebecca: I'm being careful. 

Excuse the plumbob...literally they're all dancing at the moment. Crazed dance party. Literally nothing else better to do. Fast forward through all of this please.
Marsha: Canne ahhh seeng taah theese sahng? 
Adrian: She better not sing - 
Tybalt: Yeah, how about karaoke tomorrow night? 
KT!: Yes! Let's do that! 

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Marsha: Hahhleeo! Moi nama Marrrsha Marrsheel! 
Diane: Hello Marsha! It's wonderful to finally sit down and chat with you, again, I believe we met when I filmed Outside the Target with you - 
Marsha: Ooooooh yesh! Ewe nnd Brach weir fahteeng 'bout peeng pahng or someteen. 
Diane: Certainly not ping pong - 

KT!: Woo, I just whooped Rebecca in a rap battle. 
Rebecca: No, you did not, honey! 
 KT!: Don't listen to her, she's a sore loser because my rapping skills are excellent! *she attempts to beat-box* 

Marsha: Kaay-tee, moi freend Daheen Whit and moi wahre deecussing someteen impaahrteen - peeng pahg! 
Diane: Oh, you consider that important...
Marsha: Ahhf cahrse! Much impaartheenvesents! 
Diane: Important, okay. 

KT!: I looove ping pong! Table tennis! Beer pong, too! Ooh, maybe I shouldn't have said that on live television, little kiddies could've heard me! 
Sorry little kiddies! 
Diane: I...I do not think the little ones will be tuning in. 
KT!: Not tuning in for K-to the-T?! Uh uh. 

Skye: Skye has joined the conversation. 
Marsha: Sah, asssh moi wash sayeen...peeng pahng ees 'sentially mahst eempahteent spart een sistense 'casse sahlves prahhhblims innd ees funnn! 
Diane: I...I cannot believe it...you are correct! 
Skye: Uh...is she though?  

KT!: Ping pong is super fun! I didn't know you could solve problems with it! That's...that's genius! 
Marsha: Moi nose. 
 KT!: So, like...if two of my bodyguards are angry at each other because they both wanted the last quiche, I should just force them to play ping pong? 

Marsha: AHHNE HUNDREEED PAR CEEENTTTT!!!!!!!

Tybalt: Annnnd that's what happened when I was on Are You the One?...tell me more about The Mole, then? You didn't win, right?

Adrian: Wow, no, harsh. 
 Tybalt: No, no, sorry, sorry, I just meant to ask, not to put you down for it or anything. Who won your season then? 
Adrian: Not me, bro. Not me. 

Tybalt: So, you came back here to try to win, obviously? 
Adrian: No doubt. This is my game to win, because there's not secret babe trying to eliminate me while flirting with me, and I dominate challenges every single time. Obviously. 
Tybalt: That's sure good logic. Obviously. 

In the garden, in the lush green, Skye ponders to herself. The world is dull and blue, blue the colour of streams of tears, and Skye stares at the leaves of the hedge bushes, in silence. 

Skye: It's nice out here.

Skye: Okay, so I walked outside for some reason, but...I couldn't remember when I was out there, so I just admired the beauty of simplicity for a little bit, then I was bored so I came inside, and in here, and...oops, there goes my train of thought. *she pauses, sighing* So...how are you, Two Houses Lord dude? Like are you fantastic, or no thank you? 
The Two Houses Lord Dude makes no comment. 
(Me? I'm great, thanks!)  

Marsha: Sahh moi seed, "Oh non. Theese canne net happeen. Sheh eshapped, oh non." Beecahs Eerma eshapped! Lahhke, oh no! 
Ted: Oh...oh I remember this! It...it was all my fault. 
Marsha: Shaash, Teeddy! Ewe speel eet!

KT!: So...what happened next, then? 
Marsha: Sheee traahd keeeleen peepah! Hahd tah teel 'em, "Namm ees Irmah Roboosh. Sheh ees a robosh," ennd thay sid, "Wee sahhhd 'ere tah deeth!" 
KT!: Oh no! 
Marsha: Ennd the cleefhingaahh??? WAH THEEET SHE DEED BAHHT SHEI LIVEEEEEE!!!  

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Diane: Rebecca, come join me! 

Rebecca: Diane, hey. What's up? 
Diane: I wanted to talk to you about something...something important. 
Rebecca: You want me to save your ass. 
Diane: Uh, yes...but that's not what I wanted to say this instance. 

Rebecca: Let me clear something up. This game is not for the suckers. You've gotta be willing to play in this house, and so if you come to me, be ready to hear the deal and stick with it.
Diane: Where...where is this coming from, Rebecca? 
Rebecca: You know where. I want to work with you. 
Diane: Well that's certainly good to hear. 

-----


Second House

Ben: Whatcha reading? 
Grape: It's a book about this dude who goes searching for a thing beyond the meadow or something...I'm skimming it. 
Ben: Oh haha, yeah. 
Grape: I like this paragraph though.

Carlito: I say sometimes that books are our tools to hide and deceive, but also to get people thinking, cause thinking is more important than the next guy. 
Mysti: Yeah, okay Carlito - 
Carlito: Don't be like that, Mysti - 
Mysti: Oh okay, Carlito. 

Mysti: Dishwasher doo doo doo doo doo doo, dishwasher doo doo doo doo doo, dishwasher doo doo doo doo doo doo, dishwasher!  
Fruit bowl doo doo doo doo doo, fruit bowl doo doo doo doo doo - 
Devra: Mysti, how about no? 
Mysti: Fine doo doo doo doo doo...

Coming downstairs, Cassandra starts to dance at the base of the staircase, jamming out in her classical sort of way to the tunes playing from the speaker. 

Cassandra: Oh hello, Ben. How are you this fine time of day? 

Ben: Oh...I'm good, thanks. You know, if you looked outside you could tell what time of day it is - 

Cassandra: One does not simply wander outside when one is wearing this gown, dear.

Ben: Okay...see you. 
Cassandra: Have a splendid day, dear Ben.  
 Ben: Thanks...thanks, I will.

Cassandra: Oh my...oh, I am terribly sorry, Carlito - 
Carlito: Yeah, uh...move your hand, lady. 
Cassandra: Of course, of course, yes, sorry -
Carlito: Maybe don't dance by the stairwell, woman. 

Cutie McCutepants (Ben) walks upstairs, headed towards the bathroom. His fellow contestants are mostly all downstairs - is he planning to plot on whom he will be voting for at the end of the week? 
Ben: I wanna wash my hands, please. 
Oh yeah, no problem, do that instead.  

Ben washes his hands, staring at himself in the mirror. 
Ben: Who the heck am I voting out this week? Heck. 

Ben: I don't know who the heck to vote for! Yay! 
Thank you for coming outside to scream that. None of your fellow contestants heard you, thankfully. Selective hearing, I guess. 
Ben: Really I just wanted to play in the rain. 
Too bad it's freaking gone already.  

Ben: Haha, that was a puddle, and it's still raining a little bit. I was mistaken! Fun times indeed. 
Ben continues to run around outside, talking to himself. 
Enough fourth-wall breaking for now.  

Cassandra: You will vote for me to stay, Grape. 
Grape: Uh..I just came in here to pee and leave - 
Cassandra: That isn't a law-binding contract, my dear. I need to hear you say to me "Yes Cassandra, I will vote for you to stay, we all love you" - even that last little section, of course. 

Grape: Uh...I haven't spoken much with Leroy yet, so you...you shouldn't come on so strong about everything - 
Cassandra: Come on too strong? My dear - 
Grape: I thought you were like classical music, soothing and elegant - 

Cassandra: I am like classical music, bitch. I will eat you alive with my harmonies and my beauty. I would not fool around, Grapey. 
*she laughs hysterically* Oh my! Oh, I am terribly sorry! I was just leaving...

 __________

A New Day - Second House

Yeah that doesn't look how the morning breakfast should. Who's cooking today? Hello? Your food is burning...

Grape: Oh brother. 
Ben: Wait, what's happening? 
Grape: Uh....just take a quick look at me, dude. 
Mysti: *humming to herself, nonchalant* 

Grape has set the kitchen on fire. Terrific. 
Grape: Uh...what do I do? Do we have fire-extinguishers handy, or? Do I find a phone to call the fire department? 
Ben: I, uh...I think we pull the extinguishers out of her asses - 
Grape: Oh, right...

Mysti: Is there something happening in the kitchen? Nah? Grape, let me know what's going on! 
Carlito: Absolutely nothing to stress about. Just keep dancing, girl. 
Mysti: Okay. 

Leroy: Ahhh, oof. 
Grape: Just why do you have a headache, Leroy? You're not the one who is literally covered in soot and looks like a damn prune. 
Leroy: I just...ah, I can't even explain it...

Grape: Whatever, dude, I need to clean myself up - I'll come out and talk to you after, hey? Maybe I can help your head. 

Leroy: See ya soon then, dude. 

Grape: Yeah, of course. 

Outside, in the spitting rain...
Mysti: Oh wow, the rain really doesn't pass right through me...I mean, wow, I love rain! Who's with me? 
Ben: Rain is so blissful. 
Devra: What are you looking at, oldie? 
 Cassandra: I am Classical, not Oldie.  

Carlito: Jesus Christ, I'm stuck with a bunch of weirdos.

Grape: I wish I hadn't almost burnt down the kitchen. It's not the impression I wanted to make, but I guess it happened, so...can't repeat the past. Production tells me everything is being replaced and cleaned as we speak, so soon enough someone else can attempt to cook breakfast for all of us. 
Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I'm a worry sometimes. 

Devra: You don't have to watch over me to make sure I don't burn the food, I think I'll be fine, Leroy - 
Leroy: I just want to be safe - 
Devra: And I just want to find my prince, but we don't always win in life, do we? 
Leroy: Oh...guess not. 

Devra: Didn't you have a headache anyway? What happened to that? 
Leroy: I mean...it's kinda there a little bit still, but Grape's mother used to make him this special drink thing, and that helped - 
Devra: Please tell me it was grape-flavoured - 
Leroy: I mean, yeah, I guess so? 

Devra: So, you know the recipe for that drink thing your mother made you for headaches? That is something...
Grape: We were never well-off enough to afford much, beyond what we needed, and a few things to subside our wants. But that drink solved almost everything, it seemed that way...it's really just cordial, when you think about it. 
Devra: But...but how did cordial fix everything? 

Carlito: Don't even ask, cameradude. 

Did Carlito truly wet himself enough for a puddle to form at the top of the staircase? All this and more, coming up right after this advertisement break...

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 The speaker in the main room is broken. Somehow, likely from overuse. The contestants love the thing, bopping day in, day out. Real crowd-pleaser.

 Oh and Carlito? He had no comment to make.

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 Mysti: Boy that was a wonderful nap.

Ben: I was so annoyed by him! He was being an absolute jerk, and I felt like...I felt like I couldn't say anything to him, because I...because I cared so much about him, ya know? Ugh. 

Devra: Sometimes the maids and butlers would be absolute jerks, and I would have Mother say to them - "If you do not stop, my sweet Devra will fire you herself." That shut them down. 

 Grape: Good for you to join me, Benny - 

Ben: You're going down. 

Grape: Not a chance in hell - 

Ben: Oh, where you'll be soon? Say hey when you get there. 

Grape: Cause you'll kill me in this game? Yeah right.

Devra: Wow, Devra, more stunning every single day. What a gorgeous princess you are. Any man who does not see that is a fool. Thank you, Devra. 

 Mysti: I am killing this...remember when I was killed? Wow. 

Did that even happen? 

Are your ghost-related jokes overkill by now, or nah? I'm enjoying them, but the audience? Who knows.

 Mysti: Okay, I'm done. Oof, wow. I feel all sore all over.

 Devra enjoys her secret sandwich, I guess. 

Devra: It is so wonderful to have these private quarters for myself, I must admit. So very wonderful, and I am so very thankful. 

I must devour this sandwich now...yum. 

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 First House - A New Day

Adrian: New day, good looking. 

Diane: Who are you talking to or looking at? 

Adrian: Oh...you know, me. 

Diane: Oh, well isn't that charming. 

She heads for the bathroom, following behind Adrian. A strange presence lingers in the bedroom - as if someone else is watching them. 

Tybalt: Good morning Diane! 

Diane: Morning, Tybalt.  

KT!: You didn't want orange juice this morning, Skye? 

Skye: What, orange juice? Juice of that fruit? Uh no thanks. 

KT!: You...you were fine with it yesterday. 

Skye: I don't know what you're talking about. 

Diane: I could be evicted this week. That does not sit well with me, I'm afraid, but I suppose I must deal with what will happen to me. If the others do not wish to save Diane White, then it is bye-bye.

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Rebecca, now awake, prepares herself for the day. That side-eye. 

Tybalt: Rebecca! We're running low on toilet paper, can you check to see if there is any in the cupboard out there? 

Rebecca: Yeah, of course dude! 

Tybalt: Thank you! 

Marsha: Moi ees sited tah vahte sahn! Bahhht deed yah knee wheet tahdee ees? EETS MAH MAMA'S BEEDAY! Shei ees ahld nah, heh? 

Are we not mentioning the weird gnomes? Yeah okay. 

Adrian: Uh...yeah okay, gnome cult over there. 

Diane: Adrian! Darling, Rebecca thought you would dance with her, while I, uh...well, I need to use the restroom, darling. 

Adrian: Getting all posh on us now, missus. 

Diane: I...I will be right back! 

KT!: Tybs! Hey, man...

Tybalt: Make sure we don't talk game out here in public. You don't know who could be listening in. 

KT!: Only like...the entire world! 

Tybalt: The entire world doesn't watch this show, KT!

Tybalt: Oh hey, Adrian. What's up, man? 

 Adrian: You're keeping me this week, right? 

Tybalt: I...I don't want to talk game in public. KT, what are you thinking? 

 KT!: Have you ever noticed bright lights from behind the mirror in the kitchen? 

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It it time for the second Eviction ceremony. The nominees, Adrian and Diane, will not be voting tonight - instead, their fellow contestants will decide which of them will be evicted from the house. Little do they know, however, that they will not be immediately eliminated from the game.
Skye too will not be voting tonight, unless in the event of a tie. 

 CONTESTANTS: IT IS TIME TO VOTE
Who will be evicted tonight?

Marsha was evicted from the second house last week, and joined the first house this week - she was immune from the nomination process, but has her say in who will be evicted tonight. Who will she vote for?

Marsha: Heeylooo! Eees Marsha, moi, wooot! Moi ees sahdlee vahteen fah Ahdreeien tah say bye-bye, soohreee! 
One vote for Adrian. Next to vote is previous HOH, KT! 

KT!: Hey everyone! Wow, it's so cool to be here right now! Sorry, sorry, I have to vote and stuff. Today, unfortunately, I vote to evict Adrian from the house. Diane is closer of a friend, I'm sorry, but I'll see you outside!

Tybalt: This decision hurt, but I had to make it. I sadly vote to evict Diane from the house, I hope all the best in the future, but someone has to go home. I guess I'd rather it not be Adrian.

Last week, Rebecca was the deciding vote, sending Beau to the halfway house, and thus to his permanent elimination. Who will she vote for today? 

Rebecca: Heya! Hi everyone. Tonight, I vote to evict Diane, sadly. I'm sorry girl, but this is what's been deciding, and it's been amazing getting to know you!

With one vote left to be cast, it comes down to Ted to decide. The vote is 2-2 for Diane and Adrian - who will Ted vote to evict from the house? 
Ted: Hello all. This is a truly tragic day, and I feel I understand how my wife feels whenever the sun is shining brightly, no more how I were to feel. 

I vote to evict Diane White from the house. Truly the worst feeling I could imagine for such a day. Isn't it Thanksgiving?  

It's official - with a vote of 3-2, Diane has been evicted from the first house. Time to announce the news to the contestants.

 CONTESTANTS: With a vote of 3-2, Diane, you have been evicted from the house. 
Diane: Oh...well is that not the bull's testicles? 
Adrian: It's such a shame to see you go, Diane White. 

Diane: I wish to thank you all for this journey. Of course, this is nothing like Jetset, where I of course made it to the end of the season and helped uncover a damned assassin, but this has been interesting, and I have certainly learnt from all of you. This is not the end, however - I will be back.

Diane: KT, I do not wish to leave here - 
KT!: I do not want you to go! I wish you could stay, I tried to beg, but...but I suppose they wanted Adrian to stay. 
Diane: It has been a pleasure, Katie. 
KT!: You know I am getting comfortable with that nickname, my dear. 

 And with that, Diane White exits the house. 
Will she return to the game? Soon, the second Halfway Battle will occur. But first, who will he be competing against? The eviction in the Second House is about to commence. 

_______

Second House

It it time for the second Eviction ceremony. The nominees, Cassandra and Leroy, will not be voting tonight - instead, their fellow contestants will decide which of them will be evicted from the house. Little do they know, however, that they will not be immediately eliminated from the game.
Devra too will not be voting tonight, unless in the event of a tie.

Devra: May the best contestant stay in the game! 
Cassandra: Oh, I would assume so, yes. 
Leroy: Let's get this voting rolling! 

 CONTESTANTS: IT IT TIME TO VOTE 
Who will be evicted tonight?

Ben is first to vote this week. It will be interesting to see who he is voting for tonight - Cassandra or Leroy? Let's find out.

Ben: Hello everyone! It's Ben here. Sorry, I'll get started, I know. 
Tonight, I vote to evict Cassandra. Thank you. 

Carlito has struck up alliance offers to both Cassandra and Leroy - who will he be voting for tonight? 
Carlito: Yo yo! Yoyo! Like those things, you know, the yoyos. Whatever. 
I vote to evict Leroy tonight, because I see Cassandra as less of a threat, so why would I bother getting rid of her? Thanks.

Mysti: People have been looking at me funny all week - I don't know why. I vote to evict Leroy from the house. I feel like he's a pretty big competition threat, and I don't think he looks at me correctly. You know what I mean, right? 

Bye for now. 

Grape is close to Ben and Mysti, but both have voted on separate ends of the spectrum - who will he vote for tonight, and what will that mean for the game. The vote is currently 2-1, to Leroy.

Grape: I thought long and hard about who to vote for, talked to Ben and Mysti, and to the two nominees, but...but I've decided that it's best if I say goodbye to someone I see has the most potential to be a threat, in my opinion. I vote to evict Cassandra from the house. I'm so sorry.

It is not final tonight, just yet. With a vote of 2-2, it is a tie. A tie is when the contestants are torn between who they want evicted, because they would prefer both to stay, or both to leave. A tie causes tension. 

Cassandra: A tie? Why, this must be decided at once! 
Leroy: Yeah, hehe, I'm wearing a tie. 
Cassandra: No...it's a 2-2 vote. 
Leroy: Ooh, tutus! Love them. God, it is fun to joke around. 

Head of Household Devra will cast the deciding vote - will she evict Cassandra or Leroy from the house. Let's find out. 
Cassandra: I unfortunately vote to evict, as Head of Household.......

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Devra: Cassandra, please say goodbye and leave the house. 
Cassandra: Oh well. I suppose it is time to go. 
Goodbye, contestants. It has been a nice while getting to know you all. I enjoyed my stint as tyrant last week. Goodbye all. 

And with that, Cassandra Classical exits the house. 
Will she return to the game? Soon, the second Halfway Battle will occur. 

The Battle of the Queens...Queens of High Fashion and Luxury. 

White vs Classical. 

--------------

Fighter Number 1: Diane White
Chef to the Stars. Five Star Chef. 
Successor of Jetset, Season 2
Once in Phone Contact with Brock of High Hopes. 

Fighter Number 2: Cassandra Classical
Classical Woman. Woman of the Classic Age. 
Runner-up of Abnormality Season 1
Beaten to the Throne by a Purple Woman. 

Diane: Oops, oh dear, that mud puddle crept up on me! 

Cassandra: Oh did it? What a shame. 
What are we doing here nevertheless? I was in the mind to think that we were evicted, or at least I was, and that the car would take me to the hotel. 
Diane: You are mistaken then. Your driver was quiet, I suppose. 

Cassandra: You are lying in the mud - oh, look, here I go too!
Diane: Do not dare fall on me, missus - 
Cassandra: I cannot control how I fall, miss! 

Diane: Oh and I wore white tonight, this is quite the shame. 
Cassandra: You shoved me further in the mud. That is...that is simply rude. 
Diane: Oh come off it, dear. 
Cassandra: Where did you learn that saying? In the streets? 

Diane: I did not ever learn anything "in the streets", I learnt from the others back in the house - I suppose I learnt more than you. 
Cassandra: Learnt more than me? Oh, you are a laugh. 
I am Cassandra Classical, I know all there is to know - 
Diane: About classical music, I would bet. 

Today's contenders will enter that door and compete for their chance to return to the game - but who will win? Who will be eliminated entirely? Let's find out. 
Cassandra: The classics are important and must never be forgotten! You look as if you would understand that, but you do not fall to my standards. 
Diane: I am Miss Diane White, missus, and I will not be treated like some maid. 
Cassandra: Oh, you aren't a maid? You do act like one.  

The game is - 
Diane: The game is chess. I know how to play. This will be a walk in the park - where has that woman gotten herself? Slipped in the mud again?
I ain't even mad she cut me off.  

Diane: Oh terrific, you decided to finally join me! 
Cassandra: I am not so easily rushed to get my derriere handed to me. 
Diane: Oh how sweet, you believe me to lose. Bring it on, Miss Peacock. 
Cassandra: I am not a little piece in your board game history. 

The game is, of course, chess. The winner will be returning to the game, joining the house they were not previously evicted from. However, a spanner - whilst the contestants compete, the background will be filled with wondrous animal sounds - more specifically, animal mating sounds.

Diane: Hmmm...you know, Cassandra, this monkey sounds like you. 
Cassandra: Oh, quite mature, Diane. 
Diane: I see you are not wearing gloves tonight. What a shame. 
Cassandra: I have nothing to hide. *a scream comes from the speakers* Oh what a pleasant noise that is. 

Diane: These sounds are quite simply the most atrocious things I have listened to whilst playing chess. Good lord. 
Cassandra: I quite simply do agree. 
Diane: Ooh...I could see how one may beat you. 
Cassandra: You do not say that with certainty, Diane White. 

Diane: Well I did beat you, after all. 
Cassandra: That is impossible! I...I suppose that was a fair game, Diane. 
Diane: Oh of course it was! 
Cassandra: I...I am surprised you did so well, miss. 

Diane: One does not simply attempt to defeat Diane White.
I am the Phoenix. I have risen once more. 

Cassandra: I...I suppose I see that now. 
Bravo, Miss White. 
Diane: Thank you, Miss Classical. 

Cassandra: All the best in the future, Diane. 
Diane: It was a pleasure playing a game with you. Thank you for succumbing to my challenge, and I do hope we see one another again. 
Cassandra: I believe they are calling you for the car now. 
Diane: Goodbye, Cassandra.  

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Cassandra: Oh - hello.

Beau: Oh...hi, I'm Beau Smart. 
Cassandra: I can see that. 
Beau: What? 
Cassandra: I remember how simply dreadful you were on The Mole.  
Beau returns to dancing, silent. 

Cassandra: Oh, what a wonderful world.

______________

END OF WEEK TWO