Two Houses, Season 2: Veteran Edition (Week 3)

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 Week 3 - Second House

Ben: Mhmm, mhmm mhmm, mhmm. *he freezes* What am I humming to myself? Oh, something. Okay. 

Welcome back, y'all! It's the beginning of a new week, week three! Wow, somehow we've made it here. Kidding, of course. Of course we would make it to week three, at some point. 

Last week, in the second house, Devra, as HOH, nominated Cassandra and Leroy, sending Cassandra to her roots - classic elimination. Over in the first house, Head of Household Skye spelled trouble for the contestants when she nominated Adrian and Diane, and fan-favourite chef Diane fought for her life. 

Of course she saved herself.  

Leroy: Whatcha reading? 

Mysti: Some silly kids book. *she stares at him* Do you know we have like three books in this bookcase? I had, like, double that in he...well, at home.

  Leroy: Oh cool...I don't even know if we had books back at Locked. 

Mysti: Oh, I doubt it. You were locked in cages, right? 

Leroy: Uh, no, the treasure was locked up. 

Mysti: But...you were the treasure, right? What with that body - 

Leroy: Uh, I sadly wasn't - 

Mysti: Boy, you're a snack. 

Grape: Cassandra's gone. Who's next? 

Devra: I'm not HOH anymore. I don't have power. 

Grape: I know. A bummer. 

Devra: You can win the next competition? I do hope so. 

Grape: Let's hope. *he pauses, adjusting himself* I wanna know what you're thinking about the other contestants! We need to find you a lover! 

Devra: Wow, you do not stop. I...I don't know if there is anything there with - 

Grape: With Carlito? I think there might be.

Devra: That boy is all game talk. He doesn't even compliment me. 

Grape: It's a front, Devra. I'd imagine. 

Devra: Oh...I suppose it could be so. 

Grape: Talk to him, okay? 

Devra: Yeah, I suppose - 

Ben: A NEW CONTESTANT IS HERE!  

Grape: New contestant? Like an intruder! Oh brother! Let's go check it out then! 

Devra: I will never get comfortable with your extreme excitement, will I? 

Carlito: I'll be out in a sec...as I was saying, this game is mine for the taking, you know - 

Ben: WHERE IS EVERYONE? COME ON! 

Carlito: Ah, fuck it. I'll speak to ya later, House God. 

Ben: Ahhh this is so exciting! A newbie!

Diane: I am not a newbie, dear. I am a winner - 

Ben: Oh my god, you won a reality show? Which one, I know I recognise you!

Diane: Connie and I did indeed 'win' Jetset Season 2 - oh I do hear they want to rebrand the seasons, because season 1 had was almost filled to the brim with murder. Hello all, I am Diane White. 

Ben: Heck, it's Diane. 

Diane: Pleased to meet you all. 

Leroy: The name's Leroy, ma'am, and this bookworm is Mysti - 

Mysti: Hey girl! Sorry, really interesting chapter, the little kid/unicorn/leaf just told everyone there was a broken pail down by the river. 

Leroy: Whatever the hell that means. Welcome, Diane. 

Diane: It is tremendous to be here, truly, after...well, I cannot talk about that. 

Leroy: Was there an accident? Did someone try to assassinate you? 

Diane: No, nothing like that -

 Ben: You were on the first season of Jetset and someone killed you! 

Diane: Oh, uh...no. 

Grape: Who do you think it is, this new contestant? 

Devra: If I'm being honest...I hope for Clyde, maybe, or Jocelyn. 

Grape: Someone from your show. Hmm...I'd like to see someone from The Mole, like...KT! 

Devra: That'd indeed be, as they say, cool. 

Devra: Can you...uh, just not talk to Carlito about any of that stuff? Or, don't be awkward around him. I'll talk to him one day. 

Grape: Yeah, all good. I doubt Carlito wants to ever chat with me.

Devra: Don't give yourself so little praise! He would love to! 

Grape: Oh...okay. 

Ben: There's more of us, promise - we're only into week three, yeah. 

Diane: Oh yes. Uh huh. 

Mysti: Closing the book now for you...doing it now...

Ben: Oh, thanks Mysti - 

Devra: Hello new contestant! Wait a minute - 

Diane: I swear I do remember you, yes. 

Devra: It is Diane White! My, you filmed Outside the Target with us! You missed Marsha, she was here Week 1! 

Diane: I just lived a week with her, oh yes...

Devra: What was that? 

Diane: I was just saying, although too softly I suppose, that it was so pleasant to film with your 'squad' for that episode! 

Ben: No one really says squad anymore...

Diane: Oh... 

Ben: It's great to have you here, Diane. We're so excited to get to chat with you, and just chill out, and not worry about eliminating you at the end of the week, haha...

Grape: Ain't that right, huh. 

Ben: Yeahh...

Carlito: What's this about new person coming in? 

Devra: Come stand by me and be shushed, babe - I mean, oh, sorry, Carlito. 

Carlito: Yeah...okay, whatever.

Grape: Hey there, Diane. 

Miss me?

Diane: Grape Wisteria! Oh my, it has been some time! Oh wow! 

 Grape: Yeah, it has. To clarify to you all, Diane and I are part of a special gathering - sort of like a very personalized Reality Show All-Stars Club. 

Diane: And what an assortment! You would all remember Izzy, no doubt. 

Mysti: Izzy from the Mole! Oh my god, I love her! 

Grape: Her appearances at our get-togethers are always, well, spirited, I guess. She's quite fun to be around. 

Diane: Bit too much for me, dear. 

Leroy: Finally putting the book away? 

Mysti: Shush, they were talking about Izzy! 

Leroy: Oh...I remember her. 

Mysti: I bet you do. 

Diane: Good lord, Wendi and Wendell on this season of Jetset! My! 

Grape: You gotta give it to them, they waited so long for a second chance...

Diane: Have...have you seen London recently? 

Grape: I...I don't know if I have...

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Diane: Cameras, time for you to disperse! No need to film a lady on the loo, is there? This does not seem like quality footage.  

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Diane: Why do I feel so blue? Is there a diary room in this house? Of course there is, it almost looks the exact same. Except for the people...no, I am sincerely happy to see Grape, I am...but the others will take time to get used to.

My voice returns again. Let's leave the second house for now, let them settle in, and check in on the first house! Here we go! 

_______________________

First House

Rebecca consults with her mystery alliance partner - but who is it? 

Oh, I'm just kidding. She's being weird, like everyone else. What is so fascinating about this wall? Hmm...

KT!: Can we talk about these gnomes now or...I just think, maybe, that production could move them, somewhere. Storage, maybe. 

The gnomes stare at her. 

KT!: Like this is terrifying.

Tybalt: Oh, sorry, Ted - or am I sorry? You are in my way...

Ted: I am terribly sorry, Tybalt - 

Tybalt: No need to apologize, old sport - 

Ted: Oh, but...oh dear, look at the time.  

Marsha: Ewe ees ahnseef thaas weerk - 
Skye: Oh...oh, I know.
Marsha: Moi wheel prahtahct ya, fah coost. 
Skye: What do you want, Marsha? 

Marsha: Ewe knaah whit moi weents. 

Skye: No...no, I do not - 

Marsha: Yesh, ewe doo... 

*Marsha mumbles something to Skye* 

Marsha: Buh byeee, Skah! 

Skye: Chat later, of course, Marsha. 

Adrian: Hello, ladies. 

 Marsha: Outta moi weh, Arieene! 

Adrian: Uh, it's Adrian, excuse you. 

Marsha: Weteevah! Moi ees bahsee! Gahtta ween had ahf hassheeld! 

Adrian: Yeah, okay, sure. 

.

.

 

Rebecca: I almost ran into one of the gnomes. Ugh. 

 Just want to eat some nuggets, dude. 

Tybalt: Weren't you gonna eat some nuggets? We have plenty, you know - 

Rebecca: Yeah...the gnomes kinda knocked them out of my hands. 

Tybalt: What? 

Rebecca: Oh, it's nothing...I'll eat something later. 

Tybalt: You know, eff those gnomes! Yeah, hear that, gnomes! Go away! Leave us alone, like who even likes gnomes? "Look at me, I'm a gnome, I'm short and ugly!" 

Rebecca: Yeah haha...maybe don't piss off the gnomes though. 

Tybalt: What's a gnome gonna do? 

Rebecca: I, well - 

Tybalt: You are so much better than a gnome, Rebecca.

Rebecca: I, well - 

Tybalt: I'll go talk to a producer or something about getting them removed from the premises.

Rebecca: Wow, thanks dude. 
 Tybalt: I mean...you could do it yourself, too. 
The producers...or whoever...aren't even here, we're just talking to a voice. 
Rebecca: Well, yeah...I guess so. 

Marsha: Dahnt leet gnoms scarr ewe, Habeeca - 

Rebecca: What - 

Marsha: Ta gnoms mahn nah ham...ahnlees ewe tahch 'em.

Rebecca: Uhm...

_______

A New Day

 KT!: Goooood morning, Marsha! 

Marsha: Sahmween ees sharpie tahdee! 

KT!: I, uh, woke up on the right side of the bed, I guess. 

Marsha: Cahn ewe shaart freeedge, pless?

 

Adrian: Okay - I was thinking, maybe we walk out those there doors and go for a run down to Mickey's or something. You know? 

Tybalt: Don't think leaving is an option - 

Rebecca: Yeah, you know, we might get auto-eliminated - 

Adrian: No, we will not! Listen - 

Marsha: Ya wheel! Moi knaas eet! 

Adrian: Stay out of our convo, Marsha. Stay out. 

Ted: That is rude of you, Adrian. She was only wanting to offer her opinion of the matter, and you shut her down outright. Rude, I tell you. 

Adrian: Whatever. 

Soon, the Head of Household competition will be begin...but first, a special preparation must be underway.

As the contestants prepare themselves for the challenge, a special surprise awaits in the backyard...and what is that, the table?

The gnomes, too, have been moved by production as the contestants slept. 

Enjoy a montage scene!

And now...our first contestant approaches the HOH competition stage! 

KT! and yet....she seems so different...

 OUR HOH IS HALLOWEEN COSTUME-THEMED!

 KT!: I'm Dorothy! Yaaay! 

Why, yes indeed she is! 

Once more able to compete in the Head of Household competition, will KT! once more claim the title? 

Adrian: Don't even talk to me, I'm not in the mood - it's too darn hot, but this costume is ace! Ugh. 

The whitest ninja I've seen. 

And what is Tybalt supposed to be? Generic Male Adventure Boy?

Tybalt: Yeah, pretty much. 

Marsha: Outta thee weygh! Tybeee! 

Tybalt: I'm walking, I'm walking -  

Marsha: 'e sees theese, baht tacks ewe's tahm - ugh. 

Marsha, the Sad Clown? 

Marsha: Moi ees gahna ween cahmpahteenshion, bah pleese! 

Lahhht meh weeen!  

Hot dawg, it's Ted! 

Ted: Do I look odd in this? Marsha thought I looked dashing, my word, she said...why, I can't remember. 

Marsha: Ewe lahk *unrecognizable word* ooshsdhasdansndna...

 Ted: Hmmm...yes.

And last but certainly not least.....Rebecca! Mob boss Rebecca, no doubt. 

She literally defines beauty. 

Rebecca: Someone hid my fedora. Was kinda rude. 

Tybalt: What...someone hid it? Oh, no...

Rebecca: I knew it was you, Tyb!  

Wow, contestants - love the looks today! 

Tybalt: Good god, it's hot. 

Ted: Oh, I think the weather is quite pleasant - 

Rebecca: No, it's literally a hellscape out here.  

CONTESTANTS - IT IS TIME FOR THE HOH COMP. 

As outgoing Head of House, Skye will not be competing today - can she please report to the arena to oversee the competition? 

Skye: Ugh - I'm not done yet. 

Fine, you can finish.

I was going to let Skye introduce the competition, but because she (I) decided pumpkin carving is a better use of her time, here we are: BOWLING!!!!!

You all know how to play, there's a good chance you have a hidden knowledge of it awaiting skill-buildup, so let's do this! 

KT!, Adrian and Marsha will compete...

and Rebecca, Tybalt and Ted will compete, and the winners from both games will showdown to crown this week's, be it Week 3, Head of Household. 

Let the games begin.  

KT!: It's on, Rebecca! 

Rebecca: We're not competing against each other, worry about your side of the game. I'll worry about knocking out mine. 

KT!: Oh...well I was just prepping for the showdown.  

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KT!: Lanes, and pins, and bowling balls, oh my! 

 *in the gutter, her ball disappears* 

Rebecca: What is this, a heatwave? 

Actually, yes. 

Marsha: Moi clahn mick-eep ees rahneen! 

Rebecca: That is cow bogus! I will have my sons, and their sons, come after whoever rigged this bogus game and you will pay!

Ted: You have got this, Ted - you can do this thing. 

Remember what Debby says sometimes: if you fail, oh well. 

Rebecca: Yeah, good, don't listen to that.

CAT PUMPKIN!

Skye: It's cute, ain't it? 

Oh yeah.  

 Tybalt: Oh boy, it is hot today! 

Ted: Why, yes it is...*he turns to Tybalt* Why, boy, your costume is gone! 

Tybalt: Oh yeah, it was far too lot in leather. 

Ted: Where...where did you leave it? 

Tybalt: Tossed it up over the wall, I guess.

All contestants from the First House have removed their costumes - my bad for hosting the competition outside, I suppose. 

Adrian: So much better now. Good idea, dude. 

Tybalt: Yeah, I know...oh no, there goes the ball.  

After the game finishes, Tybalt wins against Rebecca and Ted. 

Who will he be up against? KT!, Adrian or Marsha? 

Marsha: Waaah, ewe suuch! 

Adrian: I'm such a what? A stud? You bet I am. 

Marsha: Ewe nah staahd tah moi. Ugleh. 

Adrian: You need glasses, lady. 

Marsha: Moi hees glacckes - 

KT!: Heyy, aren't they fake glasses though? 

Marsha: Arh nooo, moi hees glacckesss! 

Adrian: Whatever. 

Adrian: Ha ha, girls, I won. 

That is right. Adrian won, meaning he will compete against Tybalt for the HOH title. Who will it be? Him or Tybalt? 

KT!: Yeah, woo! Go you two! 

Marsha: Ugh, Habeecha, ewe een da weygh! 

Rebecca: Oh, sorry, I'll move - 

Skye: No, it really is fine, I can see perfectly! Hehe. 

Adrian: *sarcastically* Yeah, woo! Go Tybalt! 

Tybalt: Oh, shush you - 

Adrian: Nah bro, you love it. 

Rebecca: Uh oh...uh, I'll be back, I just need to, uh, pee! 

Tybalt: Okay, you do you - 

Skye: Yeah, she was all spotty and stuff -

Marsha: Moi teehnks thaarr ees stairghff in cahbeenut fah thit. 

Rebecca: Okay, everything is fine, Rebecca. You found medicine, Rebecca. You'll be okay. Look, drink the medicine, Rebecca. 

Okay? Okay. 

Rebecca: Yeah, we good.

Tybalt: You can do it, Adrian! 

Adrian: Shut up, dude - 

Tybalt: Go Adrian! You can do it! 

Adrian: ...

Marsha: Tedday - ewe theenk ahtheer wheel kahp ees? 

Ted: I would imagine we are not a threat, yes. We are under the radar - is that the term? 

Marsha: Yeeeees! 

Ted: There is nothing to worry about, then. 

Time passes, and it is now time to reveal who has won, and who will thus be the new Head of Household, of this Week 3...

Adrian: Out with it, good-looking.

Tybalt: Who are you talking about? 

Adrian: Uh...the voice, I guess? 

Wait...did I just flirt with a dude?  

KT!: It's -unknown year - and I think everyone should be at least bisexual! 

The gays should just be gay, yeah, but like...Adrian, flirt with dudes if you wanna! 

Skye: Wow...okay. 

Adrian: Yeah, wow, where'd that come from? 

Ted: I thought it was lovely. 

While you all were discussing, and I thank you for the compliment Adrian, I told Tybalt he's the HOH now. Yay! That is all.

Tybalt: Woo, I did it! In your face, Adrian - 

Adrian: The camera is like right on your face, dude - smile! 

Tybalt: Yeah, okay.  

______________________________

Second House

Off in the second house, it seems the other batch of contestants are preparing for the Head of Household competition...and getting their costumes looking perfect, as expected. 

Let's check 'em out, hey? 

Grape: You think there's gonna be some special judge waiting out there for us? Or am I gonna be disappointed? 

Devra: Disappointed. 

Grape: Oh...I guess so. 

Ben: Hey! No! Think positive!

Devra: I mean I suppose you can. Maybe there will be, maybe there will not.  Can we take, say, a brief moment, to question why the contraction of will not is won't - why is that? 

Grape: Uh...willn't sounds completely off? 

Devra: I guess so...yes. 

Ben: Anyway...back to the topic! You look amazing, Grapey! 

Grape: Yeahh...yeah I do, and you too! 

Ben: Mysti helped my make-up too, said this is as close as she could get before it started to scare me too much - 

Grape: Oh...

Ben: I used to always wonder what would happen if my school became overrun with zombies/skeletons/whatever they looked like. I'd think I'd be brave enough to fight them, but small me would've...well, he would've been terrified. 

What about you, Grape? 

Grape: I, uh...never really thought about it. The zombies would've been bright though, all berry and stuff.

Ben: You being purple is so cute...I mean, you just suit it, is all. 

Grape: Yeah...I think so too. 

Devra: Well, I am going to go refill my glass, call me when the comp is starting! 

Ben: You...you can't even compete - 

Devra: I know that! I am just...excited to watch. It should be good. 

Grape: Well...I think you'll know when we're headed out back. 

Devra: Not if I'm soaking in the tub! 

Ben: That must be one loud tub then...

Carlito: Hola, guys. 

Devra: Woah...Carlito, your hair! 

Carlito: What...what...*he feels his head* ahhh! Nah, I'm just kidding with ya, it's just a wig. 

Grape: Very realistic, dude. 

Mysti: Hell yeah, man! I make a point of not speaking that word too often, but I suppose I can't control myself in here. Oh well, I'm protected enough...hehe.

Devra: Why, you mumble to yourself often! 

Mysti: I was coughing, sorry - 

Devra: Yeah, okay.   

Carlito: Yeah, so, most of the costumes we could choose from were boring or cheesy, but there was this wig and like blanket-dress thing, so I'm an insane asylum patient! 

Mysti: Oh..oh! I can see it! 

Carlito: Yep, oh yeah. 

Hey, Devra! Hey! Go outside to the arena, do it! 

Devra: I'm going to take a walk outside! I could use the air -

Grape: Not really much space out there to walk around, but okay!  

Devra: Nice look, Carlito. 

Carlito: Yeah you too, Devra. 

Devra: Okay, see ya! 

Leroy: Hey there, Devra! 

Devra: What's up, rabbit boy? 

 Leroy: It's LlamaMan, and...nothing much, I guess. 

Devra: Okay, llama. 

Leroy: Is it time for the competition? Did I miss the announcement? 

Devra: Oh...oh no, not at all. I'm just...going for a walk. 

Leroy: Out back? Oh-kay...

Carlito: Aren't we missing someone? That new lady? 

Ben: Diane...yeah. 

Mysti: She said she was getting ready in the bathroom down here. 

Ben: Did she tell you what as?  

 Diane: What as? What as? Why, Morticia Addams, of course!

Mysti: Wow...that's inspired. 

Ben: I didn't even notice that dress in the costume box - 

Diane: Oh, it wasn't. 

Diane: I'm a big fan myself, you know I was once Wednesday in a small-time adaption, of course it was when I was younger. Fantastic experience. 

Ben: Ooh, I love that! 

Grape: You look phenomenal, Diane! 

Diane: It's time for the HOH, dears. 

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(Briefly, I forgot Diane cannot compete - ignore my mistake, luckily I remembered before she absolutely dominated the competition - Diane White is ace at bowling) 

Diane: Oh, this is exciting! 

Mysti: You aren't competing, Diane - remember? 

 Diane: Oh, darn. 

Grape: You know, it's super cool in here, thank god we're not having the competition outdoors! 

Leroy: Oh yeah! You're right, Grape.

Carlito: I'd rather bite my nuts off. 

Diane: Oh dear, that's excessive. 

Of course, Devra cannot compete today - 

Devra: I do not need to! I have free candy, and I can stare at everyone's butts, so I think my position is terrific, thank you. 

If you say so. Does sound terrific, actually. Winning HOH does too. 

CUE THE MONTAGE!

Carlito: Oops, I dropped it...behind me too! 

All: CARLITO! 

Carlito: So-rry! 

Ben: I did a Carlito. 

Carlito: Ay! Look, you can't make fun of me.

Ben: Oh...oh, um, sorry, dude. 

Carlito: Yeah, man. 

 Devra: Ahh...the house to myself. 
Meanwhile, back in the newly-built HOH arena...

Diane: Bowling is so fun to watch...I haven't been playing at all. 

I've just been here, watching them, and I think afterwards I might give it a chance. Do you think you could leave the lane here? 

For you, anything. 

Carlito: I'm up! Watch out. 

Grape: Literally no one is in your way - 

Carlito: No, no, no, like: watch out, I'm about to overpower your asses! 

Grape: Oh...yeah, you can definitely do that. 

The games end, and it's Leroy and Mysti in the final competition! Who will be the next Head of Household? Find out soon. 

Stay tuned.  

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Ben: Ah, get this costume off me...ugh. 

Grape: Ben! Hey, wait - 

Ben: You probably should just stay inside, dude - I might piss you off. 

Grape: No, look...I'm always gonna be here, Ben. I'm gonna be here for you in this house, and...and hopefully outside it. *he sighs* Now, what's up? 

Ben: I'm damn angry, Grape! 

That win should've been mine! Leroy cheated!  

Grape: Hey...what? 

Ben: This was supposed to be...this was supposed to be my week, and...and I've already fucked it up. 

Grape: Hey...hey, no you haven't...not at all. 

Ben: You know, I did so shit on the Mole. I couldn't even last long there.

Grape: I mean...catching a mole doesn't seem so easy - 

Ben: No, I was supposed to kill it on that show! 

But...I'm a stinking failure. 

Grape: Ben...no, you're not at all - 

Ben: What would you know about failure, Mister Wisteria? 

Grape: Ben - 

Ben: No, you lasted so long on your show, and you survived almost dying! From there, your art portfolio is thriving, and you don't seem like you've ever been unlucky in love - 

Grape: Ben...

Grape: Hey, where is this coming from? 

Ben: You don't know my life! You don't understand it! 
Grape: I...I probably understand it more than you know. My life is far from perfect. My sister...she's real sick. Always has been. 

A lot of people cling to my art for my name. I...I haven't been so lucky in love, really.

Ben: You, not lucky in love? 

Grape: Yep...most of my relationships end in heartbreak, and a lot of the times it's them breaking mine. You know...I dated Kyle for a bit. 

You know how that ended? I ended up seeing him maybe once, twice a month. He was so obsessed with his art. Then he...well, you don't need that. 

Ben: You think I need to hear you sob-stories? What the hell, dude. You're trying to get me to feel like I can relate to you, and then you name-drop someone like Kyle from Abnormality just like that! I bet none of that even happened! 

Grape: Ben! 

Grape: I'm being honest, and open, with you here. I've told you stories about Kyle, the good stuff - 

Ben: Oh yeah, the good stuff...I bet you miss his big - 

Grape: Ben! What the hell is happening to you? 

Ben: I'm just being fucking honest and open with you! 

Grape: Whatever. 

Ben: Yeah, okay, go cry inside to the producers! 

Grape: You know, you're real mature tonight - 

Ben: Oh yeah? 

.

.

Grape: *inhaling and exhaling* Oh god...

Uh...yeah, no...

Mysti: Come on, Leroy, big boy, you've got the suit on...

Leroy: Oh, uh...yeah, I do. 

Mysti: Move on then, you're taking too long! 

 Leroy: I'm getting there...

Carlito: This'll be a close one...wait, where'd everyone go? 

Diane: Hmm...I am not certain. 

Best not to head to the pool, then. 

Carlito: Uh...what? 

Ben: Hey...I want to apologize. 

Grape: Yeah...I should too - 

Ben: No, you did nothing wrong...it was all me, Grapey. 

Grape: Maybe I was too insensitive, talking about my problems like that - 

Ben: Grape - I don't hate you at all for that. You made me open my eyes a little, but...but I was rude, and I pushed you away, and...and I shouldn't have. 

 Grape: Ben...

Ben: I don't want to push you away. I don't want to say stuff like "you don't know how I feel!", because I'm not a stupid teenager anymore. I...I want you to be there for me, Grapey. 

Grape: You know I one hundred percent am.

 Grape: You - oh hey, Devra - you...I don't remember what I was saying, oh boy! 

Ben: Haha, nice...yeahh. 

Grape: I...I think it was something about me being there, because I will be. Whenever you need someone. I'll be there.

 Ben: I...I would've thought you would have just...just stopped talking to me, because I called you out...like that. 

Grape: No - 

Ben: It...it means so much to me, that you're not just letting me go because...because I get too angry sometimes.

Grape: There's...there's not a lot at the moment that could push me away. 

Well, you could attempt to murder me, but...I think I'm safe. 

Ben: Haha, yeah...I don't wanna murder you - 

Grape: That's what I like to hear!

Mysti: I'm gonna wreck those damned pins and send Leroy, my boy, straight to...well, you know the place. 

Carlito: Hell? Jesus Christ. 

Wow, what a statement. 

Leroy: You think you're gonna win?  

Hehehe.  

Leroy: There's a reason I won Locked...

Mysti: The other contestants were just shit in comparison? 

Leroy: No..they were...look - 

Mysti: Oh I'm looking...I know how to beat you.

Grape: I really hope they make it seem like we're kissing - 

Ben: What? 

Grape: In editing...I hope they tease the crowds...

Ben: Why...why not give them what they want?

Mysti: Shoving your fingers in those holes...so orgasmic! 

Leroy: Wow, can you air it with that? 

Mysti: They better. I ain't rerecording.

Mysti: Your turn, Leeeeeroyyyyy! 

Leroy: Yeah, about that...

Mysti: Hmmm? You're not chicken, are you? 

Leroy: Oh, not at all. 

Grape: I, uh, think we should head upstairs and talk some more.
Ben: Yeah. I'd like that. 
Grape: Competition's over right? Like, we lost and stuff? 
Ben: Yup, we're shit. Mysti could win it for us. 

Ben: *in a sing-song tune* Orrrrrrrr SHE COULD SUCKKKKKK!
Grape: Wow, what are you smoking? 
Ben: It's called pure glee, wanna try it? 
Grape: I think I'm good here, on my level-headed joy. 

Meanwhile...

Mysti: I won! Woah, I'm so good...thanks, Leroy.

Leroy: For what? 

Mysti: Don't be coy...we made a deal.  

Leroy: Indeed we did. 

Mysti: And...I promise I will uphold it to the T! 

Leroy: I'm glad. We're safe this week...how does that feel? 

Mysti: Liberating...

________________
First House

Tybalt: Who's leaving and who's staying? 
Rebecca: Oh wow - we're having this conversation in the bathroom - 
Tybalt: No, no, no - 
Marsha: Ewe ees naht sahndeen moi hemme, Tybbie!

Tybalt: - I was talking about the bathroom, yeah. Who is leaving so we can use the toilet, cause I'm not waiting around to watch...
Marsha: Moi ees bahsteeen! 
Tybalt: Marsha goes first then - 
Marsha: Nooo, dahnt eveect moi! 
Tybalt: I'm not! 

Rebecca: I know you have a plan, Tybalt, so I trust you will keep me safe - 
Tybalt: Why are we hugging again? 
Rebecca: I don't know, hormones I guess. 
Marsha: Harmeemes? 

Tybalt: Yes, so...I guess we shall leave now. 
Rebecca: Probably wise, yep. 
Tybalt: Okay...see ya, Marsha. 
Marsha: Ta-ta. 

Rebecca: So what exactly are you thinking for this week? 
Tybalt: I'm not set in stone yet but...I'm not sure she'll love it. 
Rebecca: Is she up? 
 Tybalt: I...I don't know yet. 

.
.

Ted: Ho there, Adrian - 
 Adrian: Nope. 
Ted: I was about to ask -
Adrian: Yeah no thanks. 

KT!: zoom zoom, little ball

KT!: I didn't realise how lonely only living in the one house can get sometimes. I'm used to being free, you know. Now, I can only talk to these same people, at least most of them are good. 
I want to have a karaoke night sometime soon, if we could get a machine. Maybe after the elimination, as like a "yay we survived week 3" deal? Cause I'm gonna be here for week 4! Yay!  

 Ted: Now tell me Katie, what is it like to be a celebrity? I must admit I haven't seen any of your pictures - 
KT!: Oh Ted, I don't really make movies, I'm a singer - 
Ted: Oh, I see - 
KT!: Maybe you've heard me sing! I have an amazing voice, Judith Ward thinks so too, really.  

.
.

Tybalt: Hmm...who to nominate? Who to nominate...argh, what a question.
I'd have thought I could handle this, huh.

Tybalt: Can I, perhaps, not nominate people this week? 
No you cannot. 
Tybalt: Or...what if I just eliminate someone right up? Oh, that would surely shake up the game. 
You don't make the twists, Tyb. You do not. I do.  

As Tybalt, the current Head of Household, falls asleep, we are reminded that in the morning he will make the choice of the week - who will be on the chopping board, ready to be cut just like that. 
This show would be more dramatic with a POP. 
Sims team, give me more things! 
[Guess I could always go out of my way to create elaborate challenges that are based on the luck of randomization....nah]

Ted: What are we reading tonight, Marsha? 
Marsha: *taking a glance* Deefahreent bahks, Teddy. 
Ted: Oh, of course *he chuckles* What is yours about? 
Marsha: Ah...ah mein ees mahdeered bah hees mama. 
Ted: Oh. 

Skye: Say, Rebecca - 
Rebecca: Uh huh? What's up? 
Skye: How about you and I...we mess with the thermostat and make it really weird in here, the temperature - 
Rebecca: Uh...why? 

Skye: For fun, haha! 
Rebecca: You realise we're being filmed like 24-7, yeah? So they'll broadcast who did it, and even if none of the contestants find out during their stay here, they can look back at the tapes and hate us for the rest of their lives. 
Skye: Oh...I guess. 
Rebecca: This cereal is good though, today at least. 

Tybalt: Morning ladies...what are you talking about today? 
 Rebecca: Skye has some interesting ideas for a heist movie.

Skye: I...what? 
Tybalt: I like heist movies. Hit me. 

Adrian: Gooood morning, gorgeous - 
KT!: Goodbye, Adrian. 
Adrian: Good-goodbye? 
KT!: Yeah. I watched you on the Mole. I'm good. 

Adrian: I'm glad you're good, baby...how about we make today a great day? 
KT!: Yeah are you coming off a wet dream? Good. Bye. Adrian. 
Adrian: Oooh...not that I know of. 
Goodbye, I guess.  

.
 . 

Marsha: Cahm tah pleey ah gihm weeth moi, Tyybie? 
Tybalt: Oh...yeah I can play. 
Marsha: Tahhhreeef! 

Tybalt: Let me just close this door here... I want to talk to you too, about the nominations. 

Rebecca: It's the nomination ceremony, or it's coming up, and we've gathered at the table, just waiting for Tybalt and a few of the others. I feel, almost, perfectly confident I should be safe, but then...who knows with a game like this. We can't be sure until the moment the HOH doesn't say our name. 

Marsha: Ewe ees drahssed ahp, Becca - 
Rebecca: Oh...uh, not really, I wear this usually, but...but thank you for thinking so, Marsha. 
Ted: I think you look lovely, Rebecca. 
Rebecca: Wow, compliments out of thin air, thanks guys. 

Skye: What about me? Do you...do you like my hat? 
Ted: It's what I think the kids call...stunningly fierce! Yes? 
Marsha: Oh, taaat ees sahmteen ti keeds sah...
Rebecca: You look great, Skye. 

Adrian: Rebecca is more stunning though, sorry - 
Rebecca: Dude, how about we not put people down right before the nominations? 
Adrian: I'm just saying - 
KT!: Don't listen to Adrian today, he woke up strange...

Rebecca: Yeah, only today he woke up strange, righttttt.  

 Adrian: I'm just admiring all the pretty ladies today, is all - 
Ted: Perhaps tone it down today, mister Adrian. 
Marsha: Moi theeenks ah donut geet sahch 'tenshion, sah sooup eet ahp, bahbees! 
Adrian: Or...lick it up, hehe.

 Tybalt: I call this Nomination Ceremony to session. That means, Adrian....how about we flirt less, buddy? Hey? 
Adrian: Yeah okay. 
Tybalt: Thank you. It is with a heavy heart I must nominate two of you for the chopping block. One of you will be evicted at the end of the week. 

Tybalt: This...this choice has been...tough -
Rebecca: Tybalt...you've got this. 
KT!: Hey, Marsha...why did you kick me? 
Marsha: Moi deed nah suck theeng... 

 Tybalt: Okay...attention back to me. 
This week, as Head of Household, I have decided to nominate....

 Tybalt: You Ted, because you haven't made a lasting impression on me as of yet, and you Marsha because, for a similar reason, I cannot see you sticking around in the long term. This nomination ceremony is adjourned. 
Ted: Oh...well, I understand...
Marsha: Moi toooo.  

_________

Second House

 Carlito: Yo, Devra...what are you up to? 
Devra: Just...probably going to get dressed, I think. 
Carlito: Oh yeah...I should too. 
Devra: Nominations soon.

 Leroy: Where did Mysti go? 
Grape: Uh...I'm not sure, actually. 
Diane: I am sure she will be here soon enough.
Devra: She could be peeing...

 Diane: *suddenly leaping from her chair* 
OH MY SHOOTING STARS! 
Grape: Diane?
Diane: Oh, uh...oh...Mysti - 
Mysti: I was in the bathroom, sorry - 

  Mysti: But I'm here now, and ready for this nominations ceremony! 
Sorry...bit too aggressively excited. 
Grape: So, uh...Diane? 
Diane: Look at her! Le gasp! 
Mysti: Not this again. 

 Grape: I...I can't see anything out of the ordinary, Diane, sorry.
Diane: Oh well. Best I sit down and we continue on with the episode. 
Sorry, with the nomination ceremony. 
Grape: Yeah, sounds good.

 Ben: Back to you, Mysti.

 Mysti: Thank you all. It's time for the Nomination Ceremony. Today, two of you will be nominated onto the block, and by the end of the week, one of you will be leaving. So....who will it be! Ha ha! The power is mine this week! 
Grape: Chill, Mysti - 
Mysti: Yeah whoopsie! 
The nominees for this week are...

 Mysti: Carlito! You've won a seat on the bench! Congratulations! 
Carlito: Uh...thanks, I guess. 
Mysti: And beside you will be......

 Mysti: Devra! Yay! 
Sorry, I'm having too much fun, this is supposed to be depressing. 
Devra: Yeah, I know right, I could go home! 
Mysti: Indeed you could. Oops.

 Mysti: That concludes our nomination ceremony. I am sorry to the contestants I have nominated, but unfortunately, someone must die - I mean, go home - at the end of the week. 
Forgot this wasn't the Locomotive anymore.

 Leroy: Did she just...did she just say someone will die? 
Grape: She was kidding, Leroy! 
Leroy: Still...that's crazy, man. 
Ben: Nobody is dying this week, pretty sure.

Carlito: *feigns vomiting* 
Mysti: Carly! Wanna talk about your nom-nom? 
Carlito: Oh I'm fine.
Mysti: Okay! Well, I'm here, I guess, if you wanna. 

Devra: As much as I adore the attention so far this season, there has not been a single week so far where the target is not on my back, in some way. Week One, I was nominated. Cassandra had it out for me, I could see it in the irises of her eyes. Week Two, I was the Head of House, and therefore after the fact I would be a threat no doubt. It comes as no shock that Mysti wants me to gone, but...oh, it still hurts.

Ben: We're safe for the week, at least - 
Diane: That is true, yes. 
Ben: I...I want to talk to you about who you think you'll be voting out at the end of the week, Diane. 
Diane: *she pauses* How about later on, Ben? 

Ben: Yeah okay, whenever is fine for me, let me know! 
Diane: I will, I will. 
Ben: I'll see you around then, Diane. 
Diane: That you will, Ben.

Grape: You know I'll likely keep you in the game, I don't see sending you out this week as much of a possibility, really -
Devra: I wonder if I can trust that - 
Grape: I'm being honest with you, Devra. 
Devra: It is early in the week...things may change. 

Ben: What are we talking about over here? 
Devra: Grape here was telling me that he fancies someone in the house, and I think it might be...well, maybe it's Leroy? 
Ben: I don't think it's Leroy. 
Grape: Oh you don't? 

Devra: *chuckles* Hehehehehe

.
.

Ben: What's this you want to show me, Mysti? 
Mysti: It's outside, it was just there, like surprise! 
Ben: Like...surprise? What is it? 
Mysti: BE PATIENT! 

Devra: What are you two going to see? I want to see! Is it exciting? Is it a spaceship, or more thrilling, is it a unicorn? 
Ben: Careful, Devra, your princess side is showing - 
Devra: And? You saying I'm not one? 
Mysti: You're a princess, Devra - 

Devra: You're damn right I'm a -
Ben: Holy moly. 
Grape: You guys act like you've never seen one - 
Devra: Oh, Grape...uh...

Ben: The actual flying heck -

Devra: I am stunned speechless.
Grape: Oh yeah...guess I could see why. 
Ben: Grape - 

.
.
.
.

Diane: This look is simply fascinating. You see, the three heroes have just stumbled upon something magnificent, like a magical pond maybe, and then BAM! The pond grows legs, I think...yes, it grows legs, and starts moving towards them. Almost swallows them whole before Jaclyn kisses that frog - 
Grape: What the - 

Leroy: Hey, Benny - 
Ben: Yeah? 
Leroy: What was outside? Tell me, tell me - 
Ben: No, Leroy. No. 

Diane: I shall continue reading - would you like me to read aloud? 
Grape: Ooh, yes! 
Diane: Okay, here we go then. 
"The frog seemed to glow now, brighter than the solar eclipse, and its eyes, haze of purple, dulled. It whispered -" 

Grape: The frog is about to whisper...good grief. 
Diane: It tells her she looks radiant. 
Grape: Oh...no, no it doesn't! Keep reading! 
Diane: I am, I am. 

Diane: *clearing her throat* "It whispered...'You are not welcome in our land, and yet you pass through.' All of the sudden the sky is white, and the heroes were blinded, and then -" 
Mysti: Hiya, guys! 
Grape: Mysti, shush, the story - 

Mysti: What, a story? Not about me, I hope. 
Diane: No, no, not about you, Mysti. 
 Grape: Can we pretty please continue? 
Diane: May we? Oh...not anymore, I'm afraid. 

Grape: Noooooooo...now I may never learn of what has happened to the three heroes! Oh darn it. 

Leroy: Please tell me, please...
Ben: It's much more fun teasing you, dude. 
Devra: See ya, boys! *they don't respond* Ugh. Inconceivable.  
Ben: Oh! See ya, Devra. 

Ben: Anyway...back to something else. 
I like you, Leroy - 
Leroy: I'm not gay, dude -
Ben: No, no, no, you don't understand, I like like Grape, you're aight. 
What I mean is...I want to work with you, keep it on the down low. 

Leroy: Hmmm...I'll give it a think. 
Ben: Oh yeah, for sure. 
Just to be frank though, I'm with Grape too, strong alliance growing there, but...if I can help it, I'll keep you around. 
Leroy: I'd like to stay around.

We will now take a short advertisement break. Thank you for tuning in so far to Two Houses: Veteran Edition, Week 3! Who will be evicted at the end of the week? Marsha or Ted? Carlito or Devra? Find out soon. 

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.

 Welcome back! Diane says hello. 

Grape: Hey, Devra - 
Devra: I am perfectly fine, Grape - 
Grape: That is...that's good to hear, but...I was just asking what you were doing. Care to chat? 
Devra: Oh...yeah, sure. 

 Grape: Are you...are you sure you're okay? 
Devra: Yep, fine. 
Grape: Okay...know you can talk to me, if you feel comfortable - 
Devra: Thank you, Grape. 

 Devra: It is just...I am on the block again, second time. I do not like it, not quite so much as being the head of the house.
Grape: Of course not - 
Devra: I want to be safe and sound, Grape! 
 Grape: We all do -

 Devra: You don't get it, shush, you haven't been on the block - 
Grape: Devra - 
Devra: What, Grape, what is it? 
Grape: Everything will be okay. 

Leroy: Good lord, that conversation, am I right? 
Ben: Yeah...it was interesting - 
Leroy: Those two are fun, huh? 
Ben: Grapey is. 

 Carlito, whatcha doing? 
Carlito: Ha ha, you're a handsome man, eh? 
Okay I'll go. 
 

Mysti: Production isn't fixing toilets anymore. They said "No, it's part of a twist this week - you fix yourself!" but I call...you know what, lemme fix this.

God, this sucks.

 Ben: So, I was thinking...who do you think would go in the case of a tie this week? 

Devra: Oh yes let's have this conversation while I sit close by and eat. 

Ben: No, no, just hypothetically - 

Diane: I would say Carlito. 

 Ben: Thank you for participating, Diane. 

Grape? 

Grape: Uh...I don't know. 

Ben: I guess, since we're just guessing, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to offend Devra. 

Grape: I...I couldn't say. 

 Grape: But hey...let's change topics! Liven things up a little bit! 

Devra: Oh, that's a terrific idea! Game?

 Grape: I'm glad you suggested it. Let's play something. 

Ben: Pass the time... 

Ben: Ooh, and oh hey Mysti, wanna join? 

Mysti: Sure! What am I joining? 

Grape: We were about to play something. 

We're bored shitless.

Mysti: We can play Charades! Please!

Devra: I have a sexier idea...kiss, marry, kill. 

Ben: Eh...I've heard better ideas, to be honest. 

Grape: It's a suggestion, yeah. We have nothing much at the moment, so we can add it to the collection box. 

Devra: I think you all know the naughty word that should replace kiss -

Carlito: Oh yeah, hehe, I do - 

Diane: *from the kitchen* Well I am thankful I had left when I did, this discussion is of something teenage girls and boys would have - 

Carlito: Indulge a little, Diane! 

Diane: Oh not today, thank you.

Grape: I don't think we'll settle on anything anytime soon. 

Carlito: What do you mean, dude? Devra and I wanna play seven minutes in heaven - 

Ben: Oh wow, where did that come from? 

Grape: Yeah no clue.

 Diane: I'll continue busying myself with chores...
Grape: See if I can help? 
Diane: Oh thank you, Grape, of course - 
Devra: Carlito! Out of the girls -

 Ben: You two play somewhere else, maybe - 
Devra: Aw no fun! 
Ben: Grape...help me out here. 
Carlito: This has been a mess of an afternoon. 
Is it afternoon? Hmm...

 Grape: I was gonna help Diane with the dishes...
Ben: Oh yeah...no, you go do that. 
Grape: We'll talk tonight, hey? 
Ben: Yeah...definitely. *he smiles*

  *some time later*
Mysti: Good evening, Grapey. 
Grape: Good evening to you too, Mysti, our blessed Head of House. 
Mysti: I see you opted for one of Diane's grilled cheeses too. 
Grape: I did indeed.

 Grape: I wish to offer you thanks for your nominations - indeed, you have nominated the threats we wish gone from the competition. 
Mysti: I thought so myself, yes. 
Grape: The week will hope to be a success, then.

 Mysti: Oh yeah definitely, uh huh, woah that was a lot of fun...I miss acting. 
Grape: That was terrific, ahaha. 
Mysti: You know, ever since...that show we were on...I haven't quite felt acting.
Grape: I mean...honestly understandable. 

Mysti: Did we talk much back there?  
Grape: I...I don't know, I was too busy being blinded by a psycho murderer...
Mysti: Oh yeahhh...her. 
Grape: Yeah. Wish that was acting.

 ______________

First House, Day Something-Something
We know it's Week 3 at least. 

 Rebecca: Oh wow...I never noticed how stunning this garden is...PSYCH! I got you good, audience! You thought I was in love with a garden! 
Ahahahahahaha. Lol.

 KT!: And here we have the cleaning Tybalt...in the wild, a Tybalt, as you can see, uses the tools of the supply closet, because...yeah no Tybalts are humans. 
Tybalt: Not a human. 
KT!: Huh. What.

 Ted: Good morning, Katie - 
KT!: You do remember my name is two letters, yeah? 
Ted: Two letters? Do you not know what vowels are, my dear? 
KT!: It's a stage name! 
Ted: Well, I do not see the stage nearby...

 KT!: I wish people knew me more. 
I'm not even that unknown. 
Marsha: Ewe ees naht ee Marsha Marshall! Hahee! 
KT!: Oh yeah thank god I'm not.

 Skye: *le gasp* 
Rebecca: The actual fuck, Skye.

 Skye: Sorry, I was startled. 
Rebecca: Haha, sorry I didn't announce myself when I entered the room. 
Skye: Yeah you better be sorry, I could've...I don't know, dropped my croissant? 
Rebecca: Yeah okay, next time I'll say, "REBECCA INCOMING!" or something.

Adrian: Calm down, lady. 
Rebecca: Adrian! Hi. I'm calming, from you popping up really. 
  Adrian: I didn't pop up - 
Rebecca: Yeah okay, none of us did -

 Adrian: I was thinking...
Rebecca: Showmance? Not gonna happen. 
Adrian: Are you a witch? 
Rebecca: I...I have a partner outside of here, he'll wreck you to be honest, if you even try to say another word. 

 Tybalt: I'm just awkwardly standing off in the distance.

 Rebecca: Adrian is super weird sometimes.

 Skye: That book was boring.

 Tybalt: Do you think people are bored watching us speak to each other? 
Adrian: No, dude. 
Tybalt: Oh okay. 

.
.

 Rebecca: Are you going to do something about it? 
Adrian: Do I want me to? 
Rebecca: I sure as help don't need to do something. 
Adrian: I could always do nothing...

 Adrian: That'll show 'em. 
Rebecca: Oh yeah, they'll be so hurt. 
Adrian: ...whatever.

 Rebecca: So no fixing the toilet from you then? 
Adrian: Nah. 
Rebecca: Great. If this is some secret challenge, we'll fail. 
Adrian: Real exciting secret challenge, Rebecca.

 Tybalt: Listen...let me fix it, and you two can relax - 


Rebecca: Aw Tybs! Thank you! 
Tybalt: It's no problem...but I have a little job for you.
Rebecca: Huh?

Adrian: I think he wants a reward...like a blo-

 Tybalt: ADRIAN! Get the hell out of this bathroom before I shove your face into the broken toilet. 
Adrian: Damn son, angry much? 
Tybalt: Sorry, sorry...let me fix the toilet. 
Rebecca...here's what you've got to do.

 KT!: Yeah so, like...when I perform, I'm doing it for the fans - I adore them, and they adore me, and we looooove each other, cause, like, that's show biz, old man! 
Ted: Oh, oh, how fascinating -
KT!: Yeah, so, it's not like I hate myself and I want to hide who I am, I just...I like having a two-letter name, with a cutesy exclamation mark!

 Skye: Tybalt...Tybalt...Tybalt! 
Tybalt: What's up, Skye? 
Skye: Am I holding a glass, yes or no? 
Tybalt: *glancing over* No. You're holding air, Skye.

 Set out on her task, Rebecca begins to repair the broken speaker. 
Rebecca: Is this safe? 
I think maybe. 
 Rebecca: Better not get electrocuted.

Tybalt: Ow! 
Marsha: Sooowree, sowwree! Moi ees claahneen ahp poodle! 
Tybalt: I can, uh, see that, but...do you need to clean it while the toilet is still leaking, and broken?
  Marsha: Moi ees mahpeen!

 Tybalt: I know, I know - 
Marsha: Arrgh ewe neely dahn feeching toilette? 
Skye: Did she just start speaking French? 
Tybalt: Yeah...almost done...

 Adrian: I think this season would've been fun on an island, like The Mole. Imagine it...sand, sun...the babes...
KT!: We had a beach in our season...our season was arguably better than your season, though. 
Adrian: Oh really? 
KT!: Yup. 

 Quick - viewers challenge! What is Marsha angry about? Is Rebecca annoying Adrian for once? What is KT! reacting to?

and....WHERE IS SKYE GOING?????

Kidding, I know she's just going upstairs, I'm not stupid. 
But seriously, for the other questions, send in your thoughts now!!

 ____________

Second House

 Back here again! Hey Grape! 
Yeah I know he can't hear me. 
Yeah, I'm not talking to anyone at the moment.
Yeah...pretty alone to be honest. 
Cameraman, be my friend.

 That was a poem - wait. 
Devra: Out of my way, Benny, I need to change. 
What the hell are you two wearing? 
Ben: Devra, you were the one who wanted to see snow. 

Diane returns to her book. 

 Grape: D-Diane...
Diane: Oh hello Grape! Lovely evening, is it not? 
Grape: Yeah...it is lovely...

 Grape: Are you reading the book about the frog again? 
What's the ending? How does it all end? 
Diane: Oh my dear I moved on! So sorry, it is on the shelf just over there.
Grape: Oh. I guess I can read it myself then.

 Leroy: What's it like being a super duper celebrity chef? 
Diane: Oh I'm not a celebrity - 
Leroy: Nonsense! You must be! 
Diane: I suppose I was recognized once, when I was purchasing a new dressing gown...

 Leroy: I've always wanted to cook like a celebrity chef! I bet you make lobster every second night, or...or host elaborate soirees every weekend! 
Diane: Oh, I wish, Leroy...
Leroy: What does your husband do? I bet he loves your cooking!

 Diane: I am...I am not married, I'm afraid - 
Leroy: Oh well that's a damn shame! A star like you! Ha. 
Diane: You're too sweet, Leroy. 
Leroy: Can't believed we barely talked before just now. 

.
.

 Diane: ...And Diane is the maid that people thinks she is again. 
What a surprise, production, that this is a weekly challenge. 
Never said it was a challenge...
Diane: Disgusting, this toilet is smelly. 

 Never said it wasn't a challenge...
Diane: I do not miss cleaning bathrooms.  

 Diane: Utterly disgusting.

 After cleaning, Diane returns to the kitchen for something to eat, and the contestants are up and about doing their daily duties, or chilling out and enjoying conversation with one another. 

It's a New Day, It's a New Dawn

 Grape: Morning, Ben...
Ben: Morning...
Grape: God you look cute today. 
Ben: Hey, stop it...you too though.

 Grape: Noo, you're finished, sit with me? 
Ben: I'm gonna go wash my plate, Grapey - 
Grape: Okay *he smiles* 
Ben: Okay. Bye, Grapey. 

 Grape: Stupid broken sink. 
Dirty, too.

Mysti: Didn't Grape just fix this? Why didn't he clean it? 
Grape: *from another room* Oh yeah oops I forgot. 
Mysti: It's fine...I've got it.

 Carlito: Hey, Ben! 
Ben: Carlito! What's up? 
Carlito: Wanna talk about sport or bro stuff for an hour? 
Ben: I guess if I have to...

 Mysti: So I was like, BAM! BAM! BAM! And I got him! We had such a blast that day, playing laser tag, but...but he never called back! Rude bitch. 
Grape: Yeah...I get the feeling. 
Mysti: I so wanna hear more about your past boyfriends! Spill! 
Grape: Uh...well there was Kyle... 

.
.

 Leroy: Tensions are sometimes too high in the house, because there are only the...how many are there of us? Six? No, seven? Yeah anyway, there's barely anyone in here. We can get a little...I guess bored...with conversation sometimes, so we turn to what I guess can come next...I kinda started flirting with Devra.

 Leroy: Hey, Devra! 
Carlito: What does he want? 
Devra: Leroy, did you want to speak to me? 
Leroy: Yeah, cutie, let's chat -  

 Ben: Leroy, why are you looking at me like that? You said you weren't - 
Leroy: I'm not - I'm not looking at you! 
I'm looking at Devra, move over. 
Ben: Oh good...don't think you're man enough for me anyway. 
Leroy: Oh really?

 Leroy: I'm the manliest man you'd ever have - 
Devra: What did you say, Leroy? 
Leroy: Oh, uh...I said, how are you...uh, holding up over there? 
Devra: Yeah, fine.

 Devra: Why are you caring all of the sudden? 
Leroy: What do you mean? 
Devra: You've never paid me so much attention...
Leroy: I...I needed the time to be perfect. Like you.

 Leroy: Am I killing this or what? 
Ben: You're alright...nice whispering, too. Adds to it. 
Leroy: Yeah thanks dude. 
Ben: ...

 Ben: I am going to leave before I'm caught in the middle of a flirtfest - 
Carlito: Where's the flirtfest at, babes? 
Ben: Oh fuck...uh...nowhere. 
Leroy: Perfect! Now she can come sit by me...

 Leroy: Because you are truly stunning, Devra.
Devra: Stop it, you'll make me blush - 
Leroy: Blush like the rising sun, I hope...
Yeah Devra looks crazed here...

 Carlito: What the hell is Leroy doing? 
Ben: Flirting with Devra, I think. Trying to...
Carlito: Uh excuse me what? 
Ben: Yeah...I'm just gonna keep dancing.

 Leroy: How is a pretty girl like you not married to a prince by now? 
Devra: Oh I almost was! He was Prince -
Leroy: Oh he was an actual prince - 
Devra: Of course he was.

 Carlito: Devra, hey! 
Devra: Oh hello, Carlito...how are you? 
Carlito: I'm doing good, thanks...and you? 
Devra: Terrific, thank you for asking...

 Devra: Ah, I love this attention.

 Devra: I suppose I can sit down for a little bit...
Leroy: I'm glad, Devra...do you want some of my sandwich? 
Devra: I ate just before. 
Leroy: That's all good then.

 Carlito: Aha, guess he can move in on her, haha yeahh...
Ben: Carlito...
Carlito: Huh, what dude? 
Ben: Nothing...

 Devra: I, uh...think your hair is almost in need of a cut, but...you seem to pull it off, without the cut needed. 
Leroy: Oh, uh...thank you, thank you. 
Devra: You're cute, I guess. 
Leroy: You are too, haha.

 Carlito: Good morning, you two lovebirds - 
Devra: Birds? Where? 
Leroy: Oh...we're not in love - 
Carlito: Good to hear it, I'm Carlito -

 Carlito: Heya, cutie. 
Devra: Yeah I remember your name, Carly. Hey. 
We literally spoke just before. Yeah? 
Carlito: That was a shit greeting. Yeah? 
Devra: Uh huh.

 Grape: Getting a bit too weird in there for you? 
Leroy: I don't know what you're talking about, dude. 
Grape: And yet you smile as if all is well - 
Leroy: All is well.

 Carlito: Remember back to our game today...yeah no jokes there. 
Devra: Oh Carlito...
Carlito: I know how that must make you feel -
Devra: I cannot believe you would kill Diane...

 Carlito: Oh...it was my only choice - 
Devra: I know, baby...
Carlito: Baby...I could get used to that - 
Devra: You want to get used to something else upstairs?

 Carlito: *le gasp* 
Oh I think so, yeah. 

Devra: Well, I was kidding, Carlito. 
I'm not in the mood after the pair of you took turns flirting with me. 
Carlito: Took turns? This wasn't tag-team - 
Devra: Sure felt like it. Goodbye for now, Carlito.

 Diane: One minute there he is, next minute, poof! He's gone. 
Leroy: I'm over here, Diane. 
Diane: Oh - where? 
Leroy: Look to your right.

 Diane: Oh there you are. 
It's back to Devra with the flirting, I see. Odd kid. 
Leroy: What did you say, Diane? Also...hey, Devra - 
Devra: Step back before I slam my fist into your crotch.  

.
 . 

 Grape: Let's try out this keyboard then, shall we? 
In case you hadn't noticed, the contestants have a keyboard now! Exciting, right? I was getting bored with the seating area. 

 Grape: *awkwardly taps keys* Yeah last time I played was when I was twelve, crazy huh? I'm a bit terrible.

 Mysti: I'm gonna go have a bath, but I so wanna hear Grape play when I get out! 
Carlito: Girl, you won't miss much if you don't - 
Mysti: Hey! Cut Grapey some slack - 
Carlito: Oh, okay...

 

 Carlito: Keep on going, Grape, you're doing ter-
*an earth-shattering scream* 
Grape: Who was that? Who is hurt? 
Carlito: Let's go, dude -

 Following the scream, they rush into the Head of Household bathroom. 
Grape: Oh...oh yep, we're all good here. 
Carlito: ALL GOOD?! 
Grape: Nothing is wrong really.

 Carlito: I challenge your belief of what is 'good' and 'wrong', Grape - 
Diane: I heard her scream! What is wrong, my dear? 
Leroy: Move, move, sorry! I stepped on Carlito's toes. 
Carlito: Yeah thanks dude.

 Leroy: Oh...wow, okay. 
Diane: We didn't see any of these on season 2 of Jetset.
Leroy: You...oh...yeah...
Grape: It's perfectly okay, guys - 

 Mysti: Yeah I fucking slipped.

 Mysti: Oh yeah also, I'm technically still a ghost. 

.
.

 It's time for the eviction ceremony. Kicking it off in the second house tonight, who will be sent packing? Carlito or Devra?

Mysti: What a week it has been. I won the competition, and then nominated the ones I wanted sent home, and one will leave tonight with no disruption. It's been terrific. I've got to say. 
Should I apologise publicly for my ghostly scare? Nah.  

Diane: Ooh, I can vote tonight. Exciting.

Leroy: Yaay, I get to vote too...after being nominated last week. 
Ben: Oh yeah...fun. 
Leroy: You bet. You wanna try it next week? 
Ben: Nah, I think I don't to be honest. 

Devra: Devra incoming. 
Don't I look stunning tonight? 
Grape: Why yes you do, Devra. 
Devra: Aw thanks Grape! 

Our nominees for the week. One will be evicted. But neither know that, by chance, they could be re-entering the game at the end of the night. 
Will it be Carlito or Devra? Let's find out. 

Mysti: It's time to vote, ya fun houseguests!
Hey! That's my line! 
Mysti: I'll ask for one at a time to go into the Diary room, and there you will say hey to the special voice in the sky, and he will say: Yes, your vote has been cast!  

CONTESTANTS: IT IS TIME TO VOTE
Mysti: Haha, I beat him to it! 
That you did.  

Leroy was on the chopping block last week, and voted against the house the week prior when he hoped to save Marsha - how will he vote tonight?

Leroy: Heyo! Hi to everyone watching, and to my family, and friends, too many to name individually! Okay...voting time. 

I sadly vote to evict Carlito from the house, and not too sad to be honest. Someone had to go, and look at you sitting on the block, bud. 
See ya. 

Grape: Hey guys! How've you been? Good? That's good.

*clearing his throat* I sadly vote to evict Carlito from the house. You seem the bigger threat to my game, and we haven't quite connected as much as I have with Devra. Good luck, dude.

Grape: Diane White! 
Diane: Grape Wisteria, good sir! 
Grape: Have fun in there! 

Diane: Hello all! A big, warm hello, of course, to Connie - I cannot believe I am still here, girly! Okay...important choice time.

I vote to evict Carlito from the house, because we spoke less this week, and he unfortunately made little of an impact on me thus far. That is all, thank you.

It's official. With 3 votes, Carlito will be leaving the house, but first, let's see how Ben votes and admire how darn cute/stunning he is tonight. What a babe. 
*to Ben* You're stunning tonight. 
Ben: *blushes* Aw stop it. 

Ben: I'm just gonna jump to it. I vote to evict the big and burly, Carlito, from the house. Adios, amigo. 
Is that harsh? Eh. It'll be a sight to see you go. 

It's official - with a vote of 4-0, Carlito has been evicted from the second house. Time to announce the news to the contestants.

CONTESTANTS: With a vote of 4-0, Carlito, you have been evicted from the house. Say your goodbyes. 
Carlito: Oh terrific, who didn't see this coming? 
Devra: Oh no...bye-bye Carly! 
Carly: Yeah thanks for the nickname. 

Carlito: Well, it has been nice knowing you all, guess I'll be back here at the finale, this time not in the winning seat...oh brother. 
Mysti: See ya around, Carlito. 

Devra: Wait - I have something to say. 
Carlito: What is it, flower? 
Devra: I...I...I may not have feelings for you anymore, but...I want you to know that there is still a chance I'll let you in my chamber - 

Carlito: Devra - 
Devra: No, no, shush...
Carlito: I...I don't know what to say - 
Devra: Please don't say anything, just let me kiss your hands. 

Devra: I am marrying another next spring. His name is Prince Spencer, or it will be, once we are wed. I am terribly sorry that I had not informed you, or Leroy, but I am afraid I simply adore being the centre of attention -
Carlito: Devra...
Devra: It is time for you to say goodbye, Carlito...

Carlito: Goodbye, all. See you around. 
Devra: Goodbye, Carlito! 
Mysti: Thanks for leaving, dude. 

And with that, Carlito has been evicted from the second house. 
Goodbye. 

Now...let's check in with our other set of contestants for one more eviction. 
Let's go!
____________

First House

It it time for the third Eviction ceremony in the first house. The nominees, Marsha and Ted, will not be voting tonight - instead, their fellow contestants will decide which of them will be evicted from the house. 
Little do they know, however, that they will not be immediately eliminated from the game. If Marsha is evicted, however, the game ends completely for her.
Tybalt too will not be voting tonight, unless in the event of a tie.

Tybalt: Ladies...you look stunning. 
Skye: Oh why thank you, Tybalt, I sure do. 
Tybalt: And Rebecca too - 
Rebecca: Oh yeah...thanks. 

Adrian: Look at this suit they said I could have, look at how gold it is - 
Oh yeah, forgot to mention tonight is Glamour Night. 
Tybalt: Dude, you probably have that at home too. 
Adrian: Nah-uh....I have a bronze-coloured one. 

KT!: I found a chance to wear this dress...what do you think? 
Skye: You look quite pretty, KT!
Rebecca: Yeah, you do. Beautiful. 
KT!: Thanks guys! 

Our nominees are here. It's time for....

  CONTESTANTS: IT IT TIME TO VOTE 
Who will be evicted tonight?

KT! is first to vote this week - she nominated Ted in Week 1, but has her opinion on him changed since then, or has she grown closer to Marsha since her entrance in the game? We shall see.

KT!: Hiya! Shout-out to all my fans and friends back home! 
I sadly vote to evict Ted tonight, I'm sorry! I wish you could stay, but sadly not...

KT!: Go go go go, vote!!!!
Rebecca: I'm going, girl, I'm going! 
KT!: Hehe. 

Rebecca: I vote to evict the kooky Marsha from the house, because she's the intruder! She's obviously here to mess up the game, and I think it's wise to send her packing before she sabotages more and steals something, like Skye's hat collection! Thank you.

Adrian was on the block and was almost evicted last week...who will he vote to evict now that he knows he is safe? 
Adrian: Yeah sorry, but it's time for Marsha to go, I'd say. 
I vote to evict her. She's weird. Bit crazy. Can't speak very well. That's not a good thing, believe me. See ya.  

The votes so far sit at 2-1, to Marsha. But Skye is yet to vote - will that change the course of the eviction, or will Marsha be sent straight to join Beau and Cassandra in the halfway house? Let's find out. 

Skye: Hello, hello! 

I sadly vote to evict, after pondering and pondering....I vote to evict Ted from the house, because I think I just like Marsha better! Hehe. Yeah, sorry Teddy! Thank you for playing, if you are evicted. I have no clue anymore. 

It is not final tonight, just yet. With a vote of 2-2, it is a tie. A tie in this instance is not for around your neck, or for your a fancy event, while this of course is a fancy occasion indeed. A tie tonight means that two people are liked and hated equally, so therefore, which end will Tybalt grapple? 

Tybalt, as HOH, must decide who will be evicted. 
Tybalt: Dammit...I have to make a choice again. 
Yeah what a week for this kid. 
Tybalt: I have made my decision...the person leaving the house tonight is......


 .
 .



































































 

Tybalt: Ted Pleasanton, I'm afraid...
Ted: Oh - it is all alright, Tybalt! I will leave with grace, and thank you all for the opportunity to be here. 
Tybalt: I'm terribly sorry, old sport. 

Ted: Competing in not one, but two, reality competitions has been a whirlwind. Thank you all for being truly noble and competitive spirits that will no doubt shove forward and come out on top in the end. 
It has been a pleasure, again. 

Marsha: Cahhhm 'ere, beeg ahld Tedday! 
Ted: Oh Marsha, I will miss you once again, my dear friend -
Marsha: Wee wheel say eeach arhther 'gain seen, Teeday! 
Ted: That we will. 

Ted: Thank you, Marsha. 
Marsha: Ahhhve cahrse. Theenk ewe, Tedday. 

Ted: I best be going, Marsha. 
Goodbye all.  
I will see you all at the finale. 

 
 And with that, Ted has been evicted from the first house. Soon, he will compete against Carlito for a chance to return to the game - who will return? 
How will that shake up the game? Find out this and more when we return, real soon.
____________

Ted: Hello...hello, sir, with the umbrella? 
Can you tell me if I'm at the correct location for this challenge? 
Carlito: Challenge? Yeah, dude, this way. 
Ted: Oh, best I follow behind you then - 

Ted: Boy, you are certainly fast, sir! 
Carlito: Keep up then, this is normal pace for me, especially in this weather - 
 Ted: In this weather? Be careful not to slip then - 
Carlito: Carlito doesn't slip, bro. 

It's Carlito vs Ted today. 

Today's contenders will enter that door and compete for their chance to return to the game - but who will win? Who will be eliminated entirely? Let's find out. 
Carlito: Hurry up, dude! 
Ted: I am coming, I am coming - you be patient. 
Carlito: Patience is for the weak.

Carlito: Aw damn, nerdy shit. Not an athletic competition? An obstacle course? Someone get eliminated after their second chance so I can easily re-enter the game? Ugh. 

Ted: Oh, how does this work? 
Is this...what the kids call video games? 
Carlito: Yep. Good job. 
Ted: Oh I was right, thank you! 
Carlito: ...

The contestants will compete it out in a game of Intergalactic Barbarians - the winner will be the contestant with the most points, and will thus return to the game, in the house opposing the one they were evicted from. But there is a spanner in the works, as usual - every now and then, a mobile phone will ring, tempting the contestants to answer. 

Or a nosy mother will call them for dinner, we hired someone for that. 

Carlito: Oh woah. 
Ted: I am quite stunned myself. 
*a phone starts to ring* 
Carlito: I ain't answering that shit.  

Carlito: I will defeat you, old man - 
Ted: That is a bit rude, isn't it? 
Mother: BOYS! DINNER'S READY!
Carlito: *whining* Not fucking now, Mom! 

Ted: Oh my score is quite low...
Carlito: Mine isn't. 

Mother: BOYS! DINNER, HURRY UP! 
Carlito: Well, it's game over, so dinner here I come. Get in my belly! 
Ted: I...I am not very good at these videos. 
Carlito: It's a video game, and no, you are not. 

It is indeed true, Carlito has - 
Carlito: I whopped your ass, dude. 
 Ted: My name is Ted, I would appreciate you used it -
Carlito: Yeah okay, I get to return to the game, do you think I care?  

Ted: Well, I guess this is what the kids call a "good game", and I shall see myself to wherever the eliminated contestants go then. 
It has been...interesting, to say the least. 

Carlito: Time to rise back to winning this thing. 
Peace, I'm out. 

Ted: Oh I hope that foul-mouthed boy does not win. 

And so, with Carlito headed to the first house, Ted will join the others in the halfway house, observing the game from afar. I do hope he enjoys his stay - at least there is no threat of elimination. He is eliminated, after all. 

Ted: *humming to himself*

Ted: Oh - hello there, my name is Ted...you must be from the other house, I do not recall living with you. 

Cassandra: Yes, yes...hahahahahaha. 
Ted: Huh? Laughing...what did I say? 
Cassandra: ....

Ted: Oh, she...she must be insane then. 
Cassandra: INSANE?! No, no, no, no, no, no, not insane! 
Ted: Then what has become of you? Are you...are you a furry? 
Cassandra: A WHAT? Hahahahaha...

Beau: Yeah, she's been like this the past few days...I'm not sure what to tell you. Ah - 
Ted: Oh hello Beau! How have you been? 
Beau: Average, as usual. 
Ted: Oh good. 

Ted: I don't suppose you have something to drink? 
Beau: Come with me. 
Ted: I think it will be nice to have more time to get to know you, Beau. 
Cassandra: As if! Hahahahahah! 

_______________________________

END OF WEEK THREE